About two weeks ago, I received some bad news from my mother- my dad’s best friend’s daughter (I’ll just call her my “cousin” from here on out) was raped. Even worse, she was almost 1,000 miles away in New Orleans since that’s where she goes to school. My dad’s best friend got on the earliest flight possible to the Mardi Gras capital of the country the morning after (I’m still not too sure when my cousin told him that it happened). Upon first hearing the news, my father of course used this incident as a lesson, a lesson about going to parties with friends and the buddy system and such. The original account of the incident says that my cousin and her friend met two guys at a party and went back to their apartment after the party, but my cousin really didn’t want to go to the apartment but she also didn’t want to leave her friend (here’s the buddy system, or “no friend left behind” ordeal). The rest is history thereafter, or so I thought…
I was filled with anger and sadness when I first received the news, and I still feel the same way, possibly more angry. A few days ago, my mother called to inform me of an update on my cousin, since I had returned to school. The original story that my cousin told her family was not the truth. It turns out, she wasn’t at a party, she wasn’t with her friend (though she was scheduled to meet with a friend sometime later that day/night)- she met a guy on the internet and went to his place. My mother still does not understand the whole “online dating” thing, so she’s leery about it in general. After hearing that this was a guy she’d been talking to online, I understand why my cousin lied at first. There is still a stigma when it comes to online dating, so many people don’t want to admit when they’ve found someone special via the web. While I’m not completely sure, I think that may have been the first time my cousin ever met the guy in person. We could go on and say how it wasn’t a great idea for her to go to his place by herself and that they should’ve met in a more public place, he should’ve never did a thing to her. It’s so easy for our parents especially to start with the victim-shaming, but she didn’t ask for this to happen. How was she supposed to know what was going to happen? No one can predict these things.
I hope that justice is served and that this guy serves time behind bars. I hope that my cousin stays strong through all of this and knows that I am on her side.
