Women are living in fear and discomfort and it’s not fair- by Blogger Juan

Walking down the street, in a dark, cold night of September, on my way back from school, I noticed how women along the way would cross the street in order to avoid getting into close contact with me. This got me thinking. I started to put myself in the position of a woman and realized how easy we have it as men and yet we do not realize it until something like this occurrence happens. Women are living in fear and it just isn’t fair.

The same happens with wearing certain types of “provocative” clothes. I was speaking with one of my close friends a while back and he mentioned that he doesn’t like it when women wear tight clothes because it seems as if women are asking men to look at their body. Had to stop him there. I thoroughly explained to him what I felt about this comment. Honestly, if men feel like wearing whatever men will wear whatever, but when it comes to women this isn’t the same apparently. I told him that if a woman feels comfortable in the clothes she chooses to wear, she should have the right to wear whatever piece of clothing she pleases without having to be afraid or take in consideration so many expectations this society has implemented. It is saddening to know that we live in a society were gender binary has been normalized and until great minds start putting some ideas together, this will continue.

The Circle of 6 - Lily Blogger

As a former college student, it was always a bit nerve wracking to walk across campus late at night from the library. I always held my keys between my fingers and looked behind my shoulder every couple of blocks. But now a new app for your phone can provide an extra measure of safety on those dark nights or even in uncomfortable situations.

This new iPhone app called Circle of 6 is an innovative way to reach out to your friends if you ever feel like you're on a bad date or need help. There are 3 icons. The first icon, the car icon sends out a text message to your Circle of 6 that reads "Come and get me. I need help getting home safely. My GPS coordinates are..." The second icon, the phone icon sends out a text message that reads "Call and pretend you need me. I need an interruption." which would be handy for uncomfortable dates. The last icon, the chat icon sends out a text that reads "I'm looking for information, just letting you know." and will direct the user to national hotlines and other helpful resources.

The design is simple and meant to protect privacy so that no one would be able to see what is happening on your phone. For more information, please refer to these links.

http://appsagainstabuse.challenge.gov/submissions/4900-circle-of-6

New School Year, New Freshmen -Ashley Bradley University Blogger-

It’s a new school year, so of course new freshmen are arriving on campus. On move-in day, students arrive by the masses on campus. My school has a block party sponsored by the sororities and fraternities on campus, welcoming the fresh blood and old beef back to campus. They reel you in with free food and other goodies, but the guys especially seek out freshmen girls to invite to the first parties of the semester aka the same night. For most freshmen, this is their first time being away from home, their first chance at freedom. This is the night that many fresh bloods go out and drink a nice amount of alcohol for the first time in this type of setting (the frat party). This is a night where many new students may feel the pressure to drink. Unfortunately, because of this fact, many students do not really know their limit, the extent of their tolerance.

            

    Not only are freshmen at risk of alcohol poisoning, they are also at risk of being taken advantage of by upperclassmen. During my freshmen year, around 15 people (mainly freshmen) were taken to the hospital the first night of parties due to alcohol. Who knows how many people, mainly females, could have been assaulted in some way that night as well. As much as we all would just like to believe that all of the frat guys simply want to throw a party and serve free alcohol to beautiful girls, we know that this is not the case for at least some of the guys out there.

If you’re a freshman, and you happen to come across the blog, please be careful on those first few nights of college. Don’t let go of yourself to follow the crowd. Fight the pressure. It’s easy to listen to everyone else when you barely know anyone on campus, but sometimes you have to listen to your gut instinct. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go out to frat parties (they can be fun at times), but I hope that you’ll all be observant and look out for yourself and use the buddy system. There truly is safety in numbers.

The Light at the End of a Tunnel-Courtney Blogger-

This past week, Governor Pat Quinn established a new law to support sexual assault victims and prevent violence against women from occurring.  As of January 2013, rape crisis centers throughout Illinois will receive funds from a tax placed on strip clubs, due to Pat Quinn’s signing of House Bill 1645.  A few months ago, I received an email from my supervisor asking for my help to pass this law.  Not realizing the potential gratitude of this bill, I did as my supervisor told, and honestly did not think much of it after.  Now that this bill has passed, I realize how it much power it holds for survivors, rape crisis centers and all women of Illinois.
Lt. Governor Simon was quoted saying, “This new revenue stream will help offset cuts that threatened critical services. When a sexual assault victim goes to a police station or a survivor calls a hotline, we need trained staff ready to respond. This bill helps to keep lights on and doors open, jobs filled and responders trained” (ENews Park Forest).  This statement hits close to home because I just completed an internship at a Rape Crisis Center just last week, and I understand the how necessary it is to have passionate, supportive counselors on staff and the financial means to train volunteers to assist with supporting survivors on the hotline, in hospitals and in police stations.
On one of my last days as an intern, my supervisor expressed how she wishes there were more hours in the day or more counselors in the office because every day our agency has more clients placed on the waiting list for counseling.  Perhaps this bill is just what rape crisis centers need to change the lives of even more survivors than anyone ever thought possible.  Perhaps this bill could be the light at the end of the tunnel.

Ashley Blogger from Bradley University -Taking a Stand

As many of you may or may not have heard, comedian Daniel Tosh made some rather unfunny comments about a female audience member at one of his shows. For those of you who may not have heard of this incident, I’ll give you a quick summary: Tosh made a rape joke, a woman in the audience “heckled” that “rape jokes are never funny” or something similar, and Tosh responded with a comment saying “wouldn’t it be funny if she got raped by like five guys right now…like right now?” or something of that nature. The woman and her friend left the comedy club shortly thereafter.

               

  People either bashed Tosh or defended him, usually based on whether they are a fan of him or not. People familiar with Tosh and have heard his jokes before know that he makes some of the most insensitive jokes out there. He’s a comedian after all, and no subject matter is really safe when it comes to him. So because he is known to make inappropriate jokes, he is being defended. Yeah, yeah, it was a joke, but his response to that woman was NOT funny. Most jokes that involve some type of injustice usually “attack” the oppressor and not the oppressed. Ultimately, Tosh definitely crossed the line.

               

  This incident leads to many questions concerning comedy, what is funny, and what is just cruel and crossing the line. Rape is a very sensitive subject, and personally, I don’t see it as something to joke about. It can happen to anyone, but more often than not, women are the victims. It is unlike most other crimes in that it leaves its victims emotionally and physically scarred for the rest of their lives. It’s not one of those things that you can just “get over” and laugh about later. Even as someone who has not experienced this myself, I have loved ones who have either been sexually assaulted or raped, and I don’t take it lightly when people make jokes about these situations, these crimes against humanity. So I commend that brave woman in the audience for speaking up that night in a comedy club that was most likely full of more males than females. I hope that this incident will encourage more people, women AND men alike, to stand up for victims and stop society from becoming so desensitized to such crimes. 

Who would you tell?- by Courtney

Day in and day out, I watch sexual assault survivors walk into our agency.  It is hard to miss the loneliness and fear hiding under their eyes but also the relief when they meet their counselor at the door – knowing support is there.      

                If you were a victim of sexual assault, whom would you disclose your experience to; your friend, the police, your sibling, a counselor, or perhaps no one at all?  While I feel like I am sure who I would turn to if ever in this situation, I was curious to learn more about whom college women majorly confide in after experiencing the painful and life-changing experience of sexual assault.  It is definitely a difficult situation to even imagine myself in, but it is also impossible not to wonder about as I watch those that lives been completely changed by sexual assault seek support from a counselor, who could be the only person they have disclosed to.

                To learn more about whom victims disclose their experience with, I turned to a study that examined 300+ undergraduate college women from the ‘Violence Against Women’ journal (To Whom Do College Women Confide Following Sexual Assault? A Prospective Study of Predictors of Sexual Assault Disclosure and Social Reactions, 2012).  According to the authors of this article, while rates of sexual assault are extremely high on college campuses, sexual assault remains the most underreported violent crime.  College women rarely report these crimes to police or campus officials, and they are more likely to disclose their experience with an ‘informal support provider,’ such as a friend.  Of all of the informal support providers (mother, siblings/other family members, female peers, male peers), female peers are overwhelmingly chosen as the informal support provider for sexual assault victims to disclose to.

                Prior to even reading this article, I would lump myself in the majority of women that would disclose to a female peer before disclosing to anyone else, even before my mother and my boyfriend. Parallel to this study and like a majority of college women, my peers are most likely to provide emotional support and a non-judgmental response if I would disclose to them.  While I feel extremely blessed to know that I have a support system that I would be able to disclose to, I know that this is not always the case.  However, while still a “formal” support provider, working with counselors that specialize in caring for sexual assault survivors has made me realize that counselors can be an essential support provider for survivors that perhaps have no one else to turn to.

Consent Matters by Juan Cordero Vasquez

The room was as dark as the night was. It reached about 100 degrees Fahrenheit but neither he nor she cared about how hot it was. Sweat dripping from their bodies, but none of them cared about how nasty the sweat was or how bad it smelled. Her parents have chosen to go out that night, and since she was their only child, now 16, she had no need of a babysitter. They have been dating for 2 months and this was going to be the exception of all the nights they wanted to strip each other’s clothes off and experience each other’s bodies, at least that’s what he had in mind. There have been so many instances in which he so desperately wanted to have sex with her. But why hasn’t he?

Every time he tried, she would smile, look at him and tell him she wasn’t prepared yet. She has come from a very traditional family and always held the value of marriage close to her heart. Nevertheless, she is human, and feels the temptations that change lives forever. She has never thought of having sex with him although she liked him for how much of a bad boy he looked like, how well-known he was around at the high school she attends and the straight-out-of-a-magazine car he drives. She had a future, and she knew it, what she didn’t know was how a 21 years-old man who hangs around the high school he graduated from, with the only purpose of taking young girls home to take their virginity away. He loved nothing more but his looks and has been experienced sexually since he was 12.She had fallen for him and it was getting harder and harder to keep his hands away from her body.

Although she was bottles of alcohol away from consciousness, he still noticed the confused, scared facial expressions he held at that moment. He didn’t care, nor asked. They have both been kissing for hours and although she felt she wanted him, her values were stronger than her lustful desires. Even after drinking more than enough to get an average drinker drunk. She was afraid she has given him the wrong impression but it has gotten too late. He held her with a strong grip close to his body and initiated the process she wish he never started. She felt scared and helpless and knew that at this point she could not do much but wait. How could she bare embarrassing herself like that in front of him? Although she had told him “no” so many times before, she felt guilty inside because she felt she had never considered his wants. But still, she feels pain. She desperately needed support at that moment. She didn’t feel comfortable, millions of thoughts running through her mind and anxiety building inside her chest.

After he was done, he got up, put his clothes on and left the room without saying a word.

She cried. She couldn’t tell what hurt more, the physical pain, or the emotional and psychological disturbance she was going through.

She never saw him again.

Consent is nothing more than clear communication between two individuals in order to understand unspoken intentions. Consent plays a major role in sex because it allows both parties to have a clear understanding of each other’s perspective before initiating any sexual activity.

In any relationship you have, make sure you have clear communication with your partner before diving into sex.

Ask. Never assume.