A Few Questions- by Blogger Ashley from Bradley University

For this month’s blog, I asked three of my fellow colleagues about their opinions on sexual assault as well as abuse. While the three questions were short and simple, at least two of them could bring up complex answers. Each person comes from different backgrounds and experiences, which would lead to different answers among the participants. I let them all know that there was no specific answer I was expecting to hear from them- I just wanted them to be completely honest.

What is sexual assault, what defines it to you?

“Basically anything sexual that is not wanted.”- female

“Any unwanted or nonconsensual sexual act or touch or if it makes a person feels uncomfortable. So if you start doing something and change your mind, but the other person doesn’t stop, that would be sexual assault.”- female

“Any sexual actions without consent or without knowledge of consent. For example, if you’re under the influence of alcohol or drugs and make an irrational decision or don’t fully consent because you’re under the influence.”- male

Do you know someone who has been sexually assaulted?

“Not that I know of.”- female

“Yes.”- female

“No.”- male

Do you think it’s ever okay for a man to hit a woman, or vice versa?

“No, I don’t think it’s okay for either to do it.”- female

“Not that I think it’s okay, but I guess I understand if it happens. It’s really hard to say.”- female

“Only in self-defense or protecting an individual.”- male

……..

All of my participants pretty much had similar answers as to what they believe sexual assault is. Only one person knowingly knows of someone who’s been sexually assaulted, meaning that the other two may actually be unaware of the fact that someone close to them may have been sexually assaulted in the past.

The final question is one that could lead to a large discussion. For some, it’s simple to say that no one should be hitting anyone, while others could say the usual exception: self-defense. Then there’s that gray area, where it isn’t as clear to a person whether or not abuse is acceptable, usually because this person has been in this situation personally.

From these questions, I wanted to get a feel for how people felt about sexual assault and abuse in general. People were a bit thrown off at first by the question and felt self-conscious answering them, but I could see how uneasy and uncomfortable they were. I didn’t tell anyone whether their responses were “right” or “wrong” because that’s not what the point was. In the future, though, I’d like to talk more in depth with my fellow colleagues about their thoughts on abuse in a non-judgmental atmosphere. In the end, I hope that no one feels that they “deserve” to be hit or abused for any reason, I hope that no one finds it “understandable” that someone could be hit by their significant other. This can no longer be acceptable behavior.

Erasing the taboo- Lily Blogger

As a native-Chicagoan, I am fiercely proud about everything that is Chicago-related, whether it's about cheering for "Da Bears" or splurging on a deep dish pizza for dinner. Chicago is my hometown, flaws and all. However, I am slightly disappointed with Chicago and the rest of the nation right now. Although October is Domestic Violence Awareness month, you would hardly notice it. As I am flipping through the channels, I see football players wearing pink socks and shoes. As I'm driving down Lake Shore Drive, I spot the Willis (Sears) Tower shining in pink. As a woman, I love breasts! As a matter of fact, I have two of my own. However, I would like to argue that if domestic violence received even a tenth of this attention, it would go a long way towards tearing down the stigma for victims and survivors of domestic violence.

Tiny steps have been made in the past couple of months. According to a recent article by the Chicago tribune, the US Department of Justice has given approximately $500,000 in total to Loyola University and Joliet Junior College to help schools reduce the rate of date rape and other assaults. Also, the money is used towards developing stronger sexual assault programs and bolster campus security. Although this is great news for those campuses, there is still so much left to do. Therefore, for the rest of this month, I implore you to not only wear pink, but to wear purple and support the fight against domestic violence.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/sns-ap-il--illinois-colleges-womens-safety-20120920,0,6012045.story

It’s Her Fault? Really? Ashley Bradley University Blogger

If you’re from the Chicagoland area, you’ve probably heard about the high school counselor and girls’ basketball coach from the southern suburbs who wrote a racy, “self-help” relationship book geared towards women entitled It’s Her Fault and was recently fired as a result. Now, he has the right to exercise freedom of speech, his first amendment right, by writing a book. The issue is that it is a highly offensive and degrading work.

Now, I haven’t read the book myself, but I’ve been hearing a lot about it since returning to school. The media continually quotes the same sentence from the book: "The ultimate point here is to utilize your worth, brains, experience or even sex appeal to potentially dominate one of the least intelligent creatures on the planet when it comes to the opposite sex," Craig writes. So women are one of the least intelligent creatures? The same “creatures” who bring males into this very world? If we are so lacking in intelligence, then what is our purpose on this planet? Is our purpose only to appeal to and please men? If that is our sole purpose, then I would agree that we are not too intelligent, but the majority of women are not on this planet to simply please men.

I spoke with a friend about it, and she mentioned the possibility of Bryan Craig (the author) writing the book as a joke just to see if he can get away with it. Maybe he did it as a publicity stunt of sorts. The thing is I don’t think Craig wrote it as a joke at all. I believe this is what he truly believes and how he feels about the female population. It makes me wonder if this is how he feels about his own wife (since it turns out that he’s actually married). Does he expect her to behave certain ways and hold her to a certain standard? I don’t think this is fair to his wife or women in general.

Blaming women for most issues in a relationship is not fair at all since relationships are a two-way street. I think another issue with this book is that it is truly reinforcing patriarchal society concepts in some areas. Because Craig is a man, he is superior and therefore knows exactly how a woman should act and what would make her a better wife and such. It’s one thing to give good advice on how to make relationships better in little ways, but it’s another thing to basically criticize and blame half of the human race for relational problems.

Women are living in fear and discomfort and it’s not fair- by Blogger Juan

Walking down the street, in a dark, cold night of September, on my way back from school, I noticed how women along the way would cross the street in order to avoid getting into close contact with me. This got me thinking. I started to put myself in the position of a woman and realized how easy we have it as men and yet we do not realize it until something like this occurrence happens. Women are living in fear and it just isn’t fair.

The same happens with wearing certain types of “provocative” clothes. I was speaking with one of my close friends a while back and he mentioned that he doesn’t like it when women wear tight clothes because it seems as if women are asking men to look at their body. Had to stop him there. I thoroughly explained to him what I felt about this comment. Honestly, if men feel like wearing whatever men will wear whatever, but when it comes to women this isn’t the same apparently. I told him that if a woman feels comfortable in the clothes she chooses to wear, she should have the right to wear whatever piece of clothing she pleases without having to be afraid or take in consideration so many expectations this society has implemented. It is saddening to know that we live in a society were gender binary has been normalized and until great minds start putting some ideas together, this will continue.

The Circle of 6 - Lily Blogger

As a former college student, it was always a bit nerve wracking to walk across campus late at night from the library. I always held my keys between my fingers and looked behind my shoulder every couple of blocks. But now a new app for your phone can provide an extra measure of safety on those dark nights or even in uncomfortable situations.

This new iPhone app called Circle of 6 is an innovative way to reach out to your friends if you ever feel like you're on a bad date or need help. There are 3 icons. The first icon, the car icon sends out a text message to your Circle of 6 that reads "Come and get me. I need help getting home safely. My GPS coordinates are..." The second icon, the phone icon sends out a text message that reads "Call and pretend you need me. I need an interruption." which would be handy for uncomfortable dates. The last icon, the chat icon sends out a text that reads "I'm looking for information, just letting you know." and will direct the user to national hotlines and other helpful resources.

The design is simple and meant to protect privacy so that no one would be able to see what is happening on your phone. For more information, please refer to these links.

http://appsagainstabuse.challenge.gov/submissions/4900-circle-of-6

New School Year, New Freshmen -Ashley Bradley University Blogger-

It’s a new school year, so of course new freshmen are arriving on campus. On move-in day, students arrive by the masses on campus. My school has a block party sponsored by the sororities and fraternities on campus, welcoming the fresh blood and old beef back to campus. They reel you in with free food and other goodies, but the guys especially seek out freshmen girls to invite to the first parties of the semester aka the same night. For most freshmen, this is their first time being away from home, their first chance at freedom. This is the night that many fresh bloods go out and drink a nice amount of alcohol for the first time in this type of setting (the frat party). This is a night where many new students may feel the pressure to drink. Unfortunately, because of this fact, many students do not really know their limit, the extent of their tolerance.

            

    Not only are freshmen at risk of alcohol poisoning, they are also at risk of being taken advantage of by upperclassmen. During my freshmen year, around 15 people (mainly freshmen) were taken to the hospital the first night of parties due to alcohol. Who knows how many people, mainly females, could have been assaulted in some way that night as well. As much as we all would just like to believe that all of the frat guys simply want to throw a party and serve free alcohol to beautiful girls, we know that this is not the case for at least some of the guys out there.

If you’re a freshman, and you happen to come across the blog, please be careful on those first few nights of college. Don’t let go of yourself to follow the crowd. Fight the pressure. It’s easy to listen to everyone else when you barely know anyone on campus, but sometimes you have to listen to your gut instinct. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go out to frat parties (they can be fun at times), but I hope that you’ll all be observant and look out for yourself and use the buddy system. There truly is safety in numbers.

The Light at the End of a Tunnel-Courtney Blogger-

This past week, Governor Pat Quinn established a new law to support sexual assault victims and prevent violence against women from occurring.  As of January 2013, rape crisis centers throughout Illinois will receive funds from a tax placed on strip clubs, due to Pat Quinn’s signing of House Bill 1645.  A few months ago, I received an email from my supervisor asking for my help to pass this law.  Not realizing the potential gratitude of this bill, I did as my supervisor told, and honestly did not think much of it after.  Now that this bill has passed, I realize how it much power it holds for survivors, rape crisis centers and all women of Illinois.
Lt. Governor Simon was quoted saying, “This new revenue stream will help offset cuts that threatened critical services. When a sexual assault victim goes to a police station or a survivor calls a hotline, we need trained staff ready to respond. This bill helps to keep lights on and doors open, jobs filled and responders trained” (ENews Park Forest).  This statement hits close to home because I just completed an internship at a Rape Crisis Center just last week, and I understand the how necessary it is to have passionate, supportive counselors on staff and the financial means to train volunteers to assist with supporting survivors on the hotline, in hospitals and in police stations.
On one of my last days as an intern, my supervisor expressed how she wishes there were more hours in the day or more counselors in the office because every day our agency has more clients placed on the waiting list for counseling.  Perhaps this bill is just what rape crisis centers need to change the lives of even more survivors than anyone ever thought possible.  Perhaps this bill could be the light at the end of the tunnel.