Sexual Assault in the LGBT Community by Blogger Ashley at Bradley University

When we usually talk about sexual assault, we tend to focus on heterosexual females assaulted by heterosexual males. While that is the main demographic we are shown, we must not forget others who are equally affected by sexual assault. Women in general feel the stigma that they won’t be believed if they admit they’ve been sexually assaulted, but also add in the fact that someone’s sexual orientation could hurt them even more in the society we live in.

Via the Blue Grass Rape Crisis Center’s website, I looked at some statistics relating to sexual violence in the LGBT community:

·         “If a survivor is not ‘out’ she or he may be afraid to risk coming forward and being ‘outed’. Or, he or she may be confused, embarrassed, and ashamed of the sexual assault or consider it a ‘normal’ first-time experience.”

·         

 “   "Discrimination and hate crimes lead some survivors to feel their identity, and therefore their very existence, is questionable and so reporting may seem futile.”

·         “When a LGBT survivor seeks assistance from the community or law enforcement, he or she may not be believed or taken seriously due to homophobia or lack of training/information.”

·         “LGBT individuals generally suffer from greater isolation from family and friends than heterosexual people and, therefore, they may not expect support even if they did come forward.”

·         “Many people deny LGBT relationships are legitimate which can be a barrier to reporting sexual violence and seeking help.”

·         “Survivors of same-sex sexual assault have been invisible in mainstream legal/medical/community organizations, and so providers may not believe someone coming forward.”

·         “Internalized homophobia or transphobia may lead to feelings of responsibility (e.g. “This happened to me because of who I am”). 

      They may question their orientation and/or gender and feel helpless.”

These are just a few of the statistics, and they are very real. Though our society is growing to be more accepting of the LGBT community, there is still a huge cloud of discrimination overshadowing the community. People are people, and one’s sexual orientation is an important part of them like anything else. Regardless if you agree with someone’s orientation or not, we should agree that no one deserves to be assaulted nor should anyone stay silent because of who they are. As a community, as a society, we are to fight for justice for ALL not justice for some.

Resource: http://www.bluegrassrapecrisis.org/education/facts/lgbt.html

Ayudando a nuestros seres queridos by Harold Washington Blogger- Juan

Es una experiencia trágica recibir una llamada telefónica recibiendo la noticia que han asaltado sexualmente a una de las personas que mas amas. Mas trágica es la situación cuando 700 millas de distancia separan a esa persona y a ti. La experiencia fue algo que me tomo de sorpresa. Al principio, no supe como lidiar con la situación apropiadamente y aunque ella fue la victima de este asalto, todas las personas que la amaban en aquel entonces sufrieron terriblemente en conjunción.  Después de un tiempo tome la decisión de mudarme con ella y trate mil y una maneras de como hacerla sentir mejor; como hacerla feliz de nuevo, después que un mal nacido le arranco la felicidad desde las raíces. Fue sumamente duro, enojo se asiento en mi corazón por esta injusticia y siempre quise hacerle algún tipo de daño a la persona que ataco a la querida mía. Preguntas batallaban en mi mente con posibles soluciones y maneras de hacer que el daño se aleje del corazón de mi querida pero casi siempre falle. Fue una de las experiencias más difíciles que he vivido y para ella, la peor. Hubo momentos que falle en comprender los sentimientos de ella pues estaba bien joven e inmaduro y no supe conectar sus acciones y manera de comportarse con la tragedia; que al fin y al cabo eran las raíces de su comportamiento extraño. La herí en varias ocasiones y me he sentido desastrosamente mal desde esos momentos. Pero con el tiempo, aprendí a ayudarla de una manera productiva. Es bien importante que si alguna persona que amas haya pasado por una situación como esta hagas búsqueda en el internet o bibliotecas acerca de como manejar y tratar a tu amado o amada. Este blog no es lo suficiente.

Me tomo un poco de tiempo a aprender estos simples pero aquí les va.

En todas situaciones, tienes que ser bien entendible. No importa si el o ella actúe raramente, y creas que no tienen la razón, o se comportan de manera inmadura. Estos comportamientos son simplemente el resultado del trauma psicológico causado por el asalto sexual. Necesitamos ser bien cariñosos y entender a nuestros queridos y queridas en toda situación posible. Y si estas en un argumento y crees que tienes la razón, en voz delicada comunica tu opinión con tu querido o querida.

Nunca le eches la culpa a tu querido o querida acerca de el asalto sexual. Esto es algo que es sumamente importante en el crecimiento de el estado psicológico de tu querido o querida. Necesitamos ser bien sensibles y bien cuidadosos con las intenciones detrás de nuestras palabras. En ciertas ocasiones, puede que la victima se eche la culpa, pero necesitamos siempre estar ahí para ellos y ser esa ayuda que necesitan y recordarles que nada fue su culpa.

Sobre todo, siempre debes de estar ahí para tu querido o querida. Hazte a cargo de que nunca se sienta solo/sola. El asalto sexual es una experiencia traumática y por lo tanto mientras mas amor y cariño que le demos a nuestros amados queridos mejor. 

Helping our loved one- by Olive Harvey College Blogger Juan

It is a tragic experience to receive a phone call that a person you love and adore has been sexually assaulted. It is yet worse to experience this call 700 miles away from where your loved one is located. The experience was something that caught me off guard. At first, I did not know how to properly act upon this situation and although she was the victim, every person that had love for her got terribly affected by this catastrophic event.

After we finally met physically and decided to live together I approached many different ways to help her in the most sensitive ways I could. It was hard though, anger toward the aggressor sat still in my heart for years. Questions battled my consciousness and solutions to my beloved psychological disturbances where far from a reach point. It was definitely one of the hardest experiences I have ever lived through and hers, probably the worst. There were moments in which I failed to comprehend her actions and behaviors and since I was young and immature I would not link them with the assault. I hurt her in some occasions and have felt horrible ever since. But with time, I have been able to understand how to go about helping that loved one that had to deal with this painful experience. It is pivotal that if you are in the situation in which one of your loved ones had gone through this same experience, thorough research and readings about how to deal with the victim must be done. This blog just isn’t enough.
It took me a while but here are a few pieces of advice.

Over all situations, you need to be understanding, regardless if his or her behaviors do not make logical sense to you. This might happen because of unexplainable psychological changes that go on with the victim after the assault. Above all, we must remember to be understanding and willing to comprehend and listen to our loved ones regardless of the situation.

Do not blame the victim. This is something that is really important in the development of the healthy state of mind journey the individual will eventually encounter. We must be sensitive and be really careful of the intents and words we use. At times, the victim might blame himself/herself and we need to be the backbone that they fall on and reassure them of the reality of things, that it was NOT his or her fault.

Overall, be there for your loved one at all times. Check up on them every day if you can, and make sure they never feel alone. Sexual assault is a major traumatic experience and the more help and love you could provide your loved one, the better.