Helping our loved one- by Olive Harvey College Blogger Juan

It is a tragic experience to receive a phone call that a person you love and adore has been sexually assaulted. It is yet worse to experience this call 700 miles away from where your loved one is located. The experience was something that caught me off guard. At first, I did not know how to properly act upon this situation and although she was the victim, every person that had love for her got terribly affected by this catastrophic event.

After we finally met physically and decided to live together I approached many different ways to help her in the most sensitive ways I could. It was hard though, anger toward the aggressor sat still in my heart for years. Questions battled my consciousness and solutions to my beloved psychological disturbances where far from a reach point. It was definitely one of the hardest experiences I have ever lived through and hers, probably the worst. There were moments in which I failed to comprehend her actions and behaviors and since I was young and immature I would not link them with the assault. I hurt her in some occasions and have felt horrible ever since. But with time, I have been able to understand how to go about helping that loved one that had to deal with this painful experience. It is pivotal that if you are in the situation in which one of your loved ones had gone through this same experience, thorough research and readings about how to deal with the victim must be done. This blog just isn’t enough.
It took me a while but here are a few pieces of advice.

Over all situations, you need to be understanding, regardless if his or her behaviors do not make logical sense to you. This might happen because of unexplainable psychological changes that go on with the victim after the assault. Above all, we must remember to be understanding and willing to comprehend and listen to our loved ones regardless of the situation.

Do not blame the victim. This is something that is really important in the development of the healthy state of mind journey the individual will eventually encounter. We must be sensitive and be really careful of the intents and words we use. At times, the victim might blame himself/herself and we need to be the backbone that they fall on and reassure them of the reality of things, that it was NOT his or her fault.

Overall, be there for your loved one at all times. Check up on them every day if you can, and make sure they never feel alone. Sexual assault is a major traumatic experience and the more help and love you could provide your loved one, the better.