For this month’s blog, I asked three of my fellow colleagues about their opinions on sexual assault as well as abuse. While the three questions were short and simple, at least two of them could bring up complex answers. Each person comes from different backgrounds and experiences, which would lead to different answers among the participants. I let them all know that there was no specific answer I was expecting to hear from them- I just wanted them to be completely honest.
What is sexual assault, what defines it to you?
“Basically anything sexual that is not wanted.”- female
“Any unwanted or nonconsensual sexual act or touch or if it makes a person feels uncomfortable. So if you start doing something and change your mind, but the other person doesn’t stop, that would be sexual assault.”- female
“Any sexual actions without consent or without knowledge of consent. For example, if you’re under the influence of alcohol or drugs and make an irrational decision or don’t fully consent because you’re under the influence.”- male
Do you know someone who has been sexually assaulted?
“Not that I know of.”- female
“Yes.”- female
“No.”- male
Do you think it’s ever okay for a man to hit a woman, or vice versa?
“No, I don’t think it’s okay for either to do it.”- female
“Not that I think it’s okay, but I guess I understand if it happens. It’s really hard to say.”- female
“Only in self-defense or protecting an individual.”- male
……..
All of my participants pretty much had similar answers as to what they believe sexual assault is. Only one person knowingly knows of someone who’s been sexually assaulted, meaning that the other two may actually be unaware of the fact that someone close to them may have been sexually assaulted in the past.
The final question is one that could lead to a large discussion. For some, it’s simple to say that no one should be hitting anyone, while others could say the usual exception: self-defense. Then there’s that gray area, where it isn’t as clear to a person whether or not abuse is acceptable, usually because this person has been in this situation personally.
From these questions, I wanted to get a feel for how people felt about sexual assault and abuse in general. People were a bit thrown off at first by the question and felt self-conscious answering them, but I could see how uneasy and uncomfortable they were. I didn’t tell anyone whether their responses were “right” or “wrong” because that’s not what the point was. In the future, though, I’d like to talk more in depth with my fellow colleagues about their thoughts on abuse in a non-judgmental atmosphere. In the end, I hope that no one feels that they “deserve” to be hit or abused for any reason, I hope that no one finds it “understandable” that someone could be hit by their significant other. This can no longer be acceptable behavior.
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