It was the Cameron Crowe film Singles (1992) that originally taught my father how to lead by
example in regards to respect for women, or for anyone really. The female
protagonist, Janet, bemoans that all she wants in a romantic partner is someone
that will say “bless you” when she sneezes. It seems that chivalry, even in the
simplest forms of common courtesy, has been somewhat lost. My father recognized
this after watching Singles the year
I was born, just in time to teach me, through his actions rather than words,
that I deserve someone who says “bless you” when I sneeze. He always holds the
door open for me, gives explanations when I ask for one, communicates
everything to me so I am never lost or confused.
A father can teach his children respect for women by doing,
not just telling. He must treat his daughters the way he feels other men should
treat them. For his sons, he must respect the women surrounding them, their
mother, their sisters, their aunts, their grandmother. Throughout a lifetime,
children will learn from their fathers the basics of the most common respect.
From there, as they mature, as life becomes more complex, they will build upon
the base of respect and gain the morality it takes to be a respectful romantic
partner. Girls will know not to romanticize the idea of sex to the point where
they feel it is their sole purpose, and boys will realize that women have just
as much power over their sexual encounters as they do.
Thanks to my father, a humble and respectful man, I knew
what it feel like to be respected as a woman and as a human being at a young
age. Now that I am a grown woman, I know what I deserve, and I know how to
fundamentally respect others as they respect me. The older I get, the further
the bounds of respect move past a simple “bless you.”
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