When Love Gets In The Way by blogger Karly - Benedictine University

A situation becomes a lot more difficult when the victim of sexual assaults is in a relationship with the person that is assaulting them. The emotional attachment that the couple shares has the power to overcome the fact that their relationship is extremely unhealthy. It would be different if the person that was abusing the victim was not “in love “ with them, but when you add love into the mix it can become messy. We have to take these factors into consideration when addressing sexual assault prevention to the assailant that is dating the victim. Since the assailant is in a relationship with the victim it would be appropriate to have them take part in the same prevention program.

I can see why this could cause a few issues. The victim might be scared to even be in the same room as their attacker when discussing the events that has gone on in their relationship. So it might be easier to calmly sit down with them individually and figure out their separate stories. Don’t accuse either of them of anything. Just listen to their story to figure out if there is any deeper meaning as to why the abuse is occurring. Then once there is somewhat of an understanding, sit them together and have them talk about their problems in a healthy way.

For some reason it is so hard for me to express how I feel about this topic. I thought it would be easy to just rant on about how awful it would be to suffer in a relationship where sexual abuse is present. But all that keeps coming to my mind is that there is no excuse for abuse. It is just unnecessary and sickening. I am fortunate to be in a loving relationship with someone that I trust and know will never turn on me this way. I am no doctor. I cannot prescribe medication to someone that is suffering with abuse. I am here to express what I think can be done to prevent these acts from occurring in the future.

This subject is far from easy to talk about, but unfortunately it happens so we must find a way to help those in need. You never know what a person is going through. I am not defending the assailant in this case, but they could have a really messed up past. They might have not always been this way with their partner. They could have been a very loving person, and something small could have triggered the insanity and caused them to sexually abuse their partner. Like I said, you never know a persons full story by just looking at them. It is hard to share what I would do in this situation because when you truly love someone, it makes it that much harder to leave him or her when something like this happens. You believe they will change back into the person you remember. We need to start by listening to a person’s story, and then take it from there. I am no expert, but I know that it feels good to vent.