Corrective rape – an offspring of Hate crimes – by blogger Snehal Gajare

Humanity is considered to be the greatest of all religions; but are these preaching confined only to our books/speeches or they can also be incorporated into our demeanour too? I was extremely shocked to read an article that spoke about “Corrective rape” in South Africa.  “Corrective rape” is a horrifying practice of raping the people from the LGBTQ community to ‘cure ‘them of their sexual orientation. Raping someone because he/she is gay/lesbian/bisexual or a transgender? There have been several reports that speak of families knowingly enlisting men to rape their lesbian relatives to “correct” their sexual orientation.  Is this humane? This is nothing but a hate crime. Sometimes our humanitarian homophobic inclinations as a society can exacerbate fears and threats in lives of several others and make it a living hell.

Another article revealed about the plight of the students belonging to the LGBTQ community who were raped on the college campus. College life stories are all about education, friendships, independence and growing up as an individual; but to a lot of students such stories are filled with episodes of sexual assaults. A study by American Association of University women revealed that more than 70 percent of the LGBTQ students had encountered sexual harassment from the campus employees, faculty members and fellow students at the college. The study also reads that such violent assaults on LGBTQ students are perceived as a violent attempt to oppress those who are challenging social norms around sexuality and gender. Moreover, even if assault cases are reported, neither the hospitals not the universities/colleges are very equipped to deal with rapes cases in the LGBTQ community. The scenario is no different when a straight person reports rape. Our “temples of learning” are turning into dungeons with such an alarming rate of sexual assaults on campuses.

The main purpose of writing this article is to create awareness among the people that “Hate” should not be used as a weapon to ruin someone’s life. If you don’t like someone for whatever reason, that’s your personal opinion. But this hatred does not grant you an advantage to rape the other person. One cannot commit rape under the veil of correcting the LGBTQ community. Rape is Rape. It doesn't matter whether you are LGBTQ or straight. At the end of the day you are a human being and there cannot be a convincing explanation for committing rape.

My dress is not my consent- by blogger Snehal Gajare

I wonder why, I wonder how, I lie in this social bog of humiliation.

I know I’m sinking deep but I want to stay afloat and reach more solid ground.

My body is numb; I feel sad, extreme pain running across my veins,

And my perpetrator is walking away after hunting me like a prey........ .......Thoughts of a rape victim

“Provocative clothing” invites men to rape - A well tailored, long lasting myth which is an outcome of misogynist attitude towards women.  In simple language, clothes do not cause rape but rapists do. If so, why are kids raped? Kids do not wear any provocative clothes. So let’s admit it; a woman is not raped because of the clothes she wears, she is raped because a sick minded predator has such intent. Women draped in saris, salwar-kameez, burqas, wearing business attires like pant suits are also raped. A woman has an equal right of choosing to wear what she likes, just as a man does. Such pitiful excuses condemning women’s clothing for rape is utterly pathetic and sexist.

To prevent a potential attack, it is the responsibility of a woman to dress modestly. Isn't it the responsibility of the potential offender to curb his sexual desires that can ruin someone’s life forever? Such irrelevant impositions from the society tend to give a wrong message to the teenagers; especially the girls. Most of the girls think rather believe that it is their fault if they are raped. This is how society transfers the blame from the offender to that of the victim (by blaming her dressing). Is this fair? Why do girls have to grow up believing this stupid myth that provocative dressing causes rape?  Any sane person with a reasonable bent of mind should be able to control and curb his desires. This is something that the society needs to start preaching.

It’s more devastating to know that some conservative political leaders across the globe don’t even feel the need to condemn such social evils in the society. Instead, the political platform is used to make unreasonable, irritating and unacceptable statements against women and rape victims. Such unchallenged social attitudes coupled with unfair laws and molded stereotypical gender roles often relegate the status of a woman. Low conviction rates, high incidence of rape and the existence of a sexist blame culture are a triangular set of problems that the society and the government need to address at the first instance.

Student activism – an initiative for rape prevention by blogger Snehal

“Please don’t drink too much”, “Don’t wear a provocative dress”, “Don’t go alone at night “, “Carry a pepper spray”..............................are the ‘rape preventive advices’ given to young women on college campuses. Agreed, these advices are for good but the underlying question that pops up is why the need for such advices has come up? Women who don’t drink, who are always dressed in full clothing, who hang out with friends at night are also raped. I’m not saying that only women are raped. Even men are subjected to rape but the question still remains unanswered.  Why sexual assaults are so highly prevalent in the society out there?  Is there a conclusive concrete answer?

Campus rapes have also increased in the past decades. News flashes on television, internet and newspapers have seriously condemned the failure of several educational institutions and universities in handling the issues of sexual assaults on campus. Moreover, students should not stand such injustice any longer. It is the time for some real action. Students have to join hand with campus and community events that work for ending sexual violence. The success of such events is determined by the extent of participation and involvement of the students and the community.

There have been several incidents where the student activists groups have been successful in pressurizing the college administration in imposing strict policies and actions against sexual crimes and sexual offenders on campus. Each one of us has to understand that sexual violence is neither inherent nor inevitable. Never perceive rape to be an individual’s case. Today someone was a victim tomorrow it may be you, your friends or loved ones.  The inspiring change begins only when students come forward and connect the dots on campuses. This will surely emerge as an unprecedented wave of student activism on campus.

It has been noted that numerous educational institutions have reformed their judicial policies for handling rapes on campuses as a result of student activism. Student rallies, workshops for supporting the rape victims, activities demanding compliance of strict rules on campus have geared a lot of support over the recent years. Such initiatives will also help in emboldening the students to break their silence, come forward and share their respective stories or file their complaints. Remember, a healthy campus is one where students feel safe to live, breathe, move and study.

To conclude, I shall repeat the lyrics of Michael Jackson’s song: Heal the world, make it a better place, for you and for me and the entire human race.

Consent: Clearing Up the Grey by Katiera Sordjan

     One of the most important things we can do to combat sexual assault on college campuses is to educate students on the importance of consent. This is crucial regardless of gender identity, sexual orientation, or the nature of the relationship between the individuals. Understanding what consent is, giving and receiving it throughout sex is crucial to ensuring that students are safe and respected.

     Our concept of rape and sexual assault is often very concrete and stereotypical; a person is physically overpowered or otherwise forced into intercourse or other sexual acts by someone else. However, many times this is not the case, and leaves victims feeling violated but not sure that they would describe the encounter as assault. These 'grey areas' are very problematic in confronting the issue of sexual assault and even more difficult to process legally.

     Consenting to sexual activity is more than just a person saying yes before sex begins. A couple or group should communicate both before and during sex about their sexual desires and wants. Consent means that a person willingly agrees to have sex. They may consent to some sexual activities and not others. Talking with each other ensures everyone is comfortable and enjoying being intimate.

     It is important to remember that not saying 'no' doesn't automatically mean a yes to any sexual activity. Pressuring or coercing someone to have sex is sexual assault. A person has the right to change their mind at any time during sex about what they want to do with their partners. If a person is intoxicated they cannot consent. Taking advantage of someone under the influence is rape.

     When having sex you should never make any assumptions, insinuations, or be vague with your partner. Even if you are in a serious relationship with your partner or have had consensual sex with them before, consent is still needed from both of you every time you have sex. Do not assume that doing one activity is permission for another. Never make inferences about someone's desire to have sex based on factors such as their gender, sexual orientation, clothing, or past sexual history. Similarly, you cannot use your own sexual and personal identity as a substitute for consent. None of these things are consent; a clear and enthusiastic 'yes' is.

     Talking about sex may seem awkward and interruptive, ruining the mood of being intimate. But having conversation before sex will make things run much smoother and be clear for everyone. During sex, partners should simply check for feedback from each other. Pay attention to words and body language, and incorporate it into your sex play by telling them what you would like to do with them next. If your partner seems hesitant it is important to ask them if it is okay to continue, plainly and nonagressively. Likewise, your partner should be paying attention to you to make sure you are engaged and comfortable during any sexual activities you do together. Using 'safe words' can be helpful in BDSM sex and roleplays. If either person is hesitant or does not continue giving consent it is important to stop having sex and talk about what each of you wants to do. Good lovers listen to their partners and are in tune with their needs. 

     Sex should be fun, and an exciting way to be intimate with someone. It is a significant and memorable part of college life for many students. It should be free of pressure, discomfort, and constraining societal expectations. Consensual sex is not about power, but giving and receiving pleasure. Everyone should be able to explore their sexuality with others in a way that is enjoyable for them, without being harmed or taken advantage of. 

Football and Assault: How Male Athletic Entitlement Contributes to Rape Culture by Katiera Sordjan

     People have long marveled at the physical prowess and potential of the human body. 

Athleticism has played a powerful role in society. On college campuses, sports are also heavily ingrained. Many students are able to receive scholarships to go to college because of their hard work and athletic talents exhibited in high school. In turn, these schools can raise funds through their sports events. Most notable are the football teams, which attract many students, both as spectators and participants. The sport represents what many Americans feel to be one of the great pastimes of the country. A look at the enormous revenue generated during Super Bowl weekend can attest to that.

     I recall somewhat bitterly the affairs of my high school football team. At pep rallies, other teams were given brief recognition, while each football player got an individual mini-biography. Lawnmowers and landscapers painstakingly poured over the football field every day, while students indoors didn't even have proper desks or textbooks at times.

Even in college, I must remember that the distinguished title of Ivy League was not originally used to describe my school’s academics, but its elite sports status. 

     This special treatment can lead these athletes (who are virtually all male, in the case of football) to feel a sense of entitlement over their peers. Football is also a contact sport, and one could argue that players are encouraged to be combative and aggressive, as well as pressured by their coaches, peers, and families to succeed. It should come as no surprise that this behavior extends outside the field.

     I knew a few players who consistently expected to be allowed to bend the rules. They refused to even attempt homework on days when they had games, and demanded their teachers move test and homework dates or let them skip the work altogether. They were aware of the prestigious place they held in our high school, which was often valued more than academic success itself, and used it to their advantage.

     The Steubenville rape case is a prime example of the learned sense of entitlement of male athletes, as well as the sympathy they receive from others. The football players had no issue with being aggressors and taking what they wanted from an incapacitated girl. Respectable media outlets such as CNN lamented over the fact that Mays and Richmond had ruined their shot at an athletic career, instead of illustrating them as what they are: rapists. The victim was not only repeatedly assaulted, but was publicly humiliated and shamed instead of being defended. Why does the presence of alcohol make the victim blameworthy for the crime, but the athletic status of her attackers is an excuse?

     Malcolm Gladwell, The New Yorker writer and bestselling author, shocked Penn students when he gave a speech at our school suggesting football be eliminated completely. He claimed that the school puts students at risk for a dangerous condition known as CTE, which can lead to depression and suicidality from repeated traumatic brain injury, merely for the sake of entertainment and financial gain. Many, especially the football players, were offended by this notion. 

     Many Americans are obsessed with their sports, and are willing to put their children at risk for the sake of fame and money. Parents push their kids into athletics at a very young age in the hopes that they will be successful, but very few will go pro. Even if we are unwilling to give up our more dangerous sports, like football, we must not teach the young people who play them that their actions are without consequence. 

    Individualism has a cost; it leads us to glorify students like Trent Mays and Ma’lik Richmond for their physical control and simultaneously shun their victim for lacking it. While the boys received sympathy for being young athletic stars who simply did not know any better (“boys will be boys”), the similarly young girl was expected to be responsible. Underage drinking is illegal, but it does not excuse a violent crime. Of course, many athletes and men are good students and upstanding members of society. But teaching and reinforcing hyper-masculinity and blamelessness contributes to a victim-blaming rape culture that robs survivors of their dignity well after their attack.

Rape Prevention by blogger Shaleen

It is common knowledge that many traditional families instill the thought that men should “protect” women but when it comes to stopping or acknowledging a possible sexual assault, many question themselves. We see all the time in movies that when men see an assault, he stutters or questions himself and how he would be viewed. Many colleges are stopping the victim from speaking out of even pressing charges. The lack of prevention is outstanding because educated human beings should know that it is not a woman’s fault, ever.

Women are taught to not get raped instead of men getting taught not to rape. It’s a simple enough concept but then again, it happens. Zerlina Maxwell from Ebony.com, wrote an article called, “5 Ways We Can Teach Men Not to Rape.” I understand where articles like the get their theme of the article but that thought should be instilled in everyone from birth. It should not have to be taught.

Every man and woman are responsible for their actions, including not stopping someone be raped. Education equals prevention. There are many men who are feminists from Jimmy Carter to Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Where these men consider themselves a feminist or the media spanned their words, I’ll never know. All that aside, feminism is the radical notion that all women are human beings.

The epidemic of Rape culture - by blogger Snehal

What is Rape culture? There is no single generic definition of Rape culture as it incorporates all acts, images, laws, prevalent attitudes, jokes, norms, words etc that considers sexual coercion and violence against women to be normal; thus making rape an inevitable act. Rape culture is a social evil often misconstrued to be a mere nonexistent term, unacceptable in the social arena. The fact is Rape culture is an offspring of the social mindset that nourishes misogyny, violent masculinity and inequality among the sexes, hence making it a no big deal situation. Objectification of women is so deep rooted in the world outside that stigmatizing overpowers humanity and rape survivors have to face the socio-political, socio – cultural wrath.

The tendency to blame the rape victims is backed by the thought process and decisive beliefs of the fault finding observers. It is assumed that the victim has done something concrete to attract the assault. If stigmatization is so important then stigmatize the rapist for his wrong .When social pressures are asserted to victimize the rape survivors, they end up building a prison full of faults in their minds. Such an internal suffocation injures the victim gravely in comparison to the physical one.  The perpetrators are not solely responsible for creation of this rape culture; it is also the society who should take equal responsibility for letting this rape culture affirm its roots. So let us all pledge today to uproot this rape culture and destroy it forever.

Here is how we can put an end to the rape culture:

1.       Co-relating rape to the attire of the victim is not appropriate. Women wearing long, full, decent dresses have also been raped.

2.       Teaching boys and girls to respect each other. As a parent or a teacher it is our duty to imbibe the qualities of compassion, empathy and kindness in your children/ students. This will mould them to be good human beings.

3.       Men should also step forward to condemn rape and rape culture. Likewise, it is better to teach boys not to rape girls than teaching girls not to get raped.

4.       Rape is not inevitable. Never consider it to be one. It is a serious issue that needs to be addressed properly. It is important to penalize the perpetrators of rape.

5.       Stop blaming the victims for rapes. It’s not their fault. Never be a dumb bystander witnessing sexual assault. Try fighting it out.

As a feminist, I feel rape culture is the result of ignorance and illiteracy concerning rape. Friends, it’s time that we work together to spread awareness and eradicate this epidemic that not only disgraces women but also wounds their souls.

No means a big No - by blogger Snehal Gajare

"Consent"- What is it? Is it important? Who cares? How dare she refuse me?........ And then the male chauvinist monster attacks the girl/woman. He forgets that he is denying her the basic right of voicing her choice about what is happening to her mind and body. As a woman I strongly condemn such an act where a woman's right of bodily integrity and autonomy is not only neglected but crushed. Every woman on this planet has the right to say "No".  It’s simple, ‘No’ means a clear, big and bold “No”.

When 'Yes' is easily understood and accepted, what's the issue in understanding and accepting its antonym 'No'? A study conducted by United Nations by surveying 10000 men in 6 Asia Pacific countries (the word “Rape” was not mentioned, instead men were questioned if they ever forced a lady to indulge in sex) has revealed that "sexual entitlement" (a mindset where a man considers that he has an automatic control over the body of woman irrespective of what the woman wants) is the trigger that drives men to rape women. Another shocking outcome of the survey was that some men admitted to raping women for entertainment to fight boredom. A small set of men cited anger as the reason for forcing women.  Shut Up! Wake up Guys! Come out of your world of fantasy. Rape is not a joke; it’s a heinous crime that seizes the entire existence of a woman, leaving her soul panic stricken, wounded for life. Furthermore, our ‘so called patriarchal society’ depicts its double standards by drowning the Rape victim into the pond of shame with a tagline "It’s your Fault"; whereas the excuse used for the rapist is “After all he is a man, he has desires”.

Consent plays a key role in most of the sexual assault cases; as it impacts the entire prosecution process. Consent can be determined by various factors: Age of consent (the victim consenting was below the age specified by law for having sex), Inability to consent (if the victim consenting was insane, mentally retarded, intoxicated), withdrawal of consent; (if the victim gave consent out to fear, embarrassment, coercion, helplessness and later withdrew) the violation of these can attract the offence of statutory rape. In simple sense, sex without ‘consent’ is Rape.

As a feminist I intend to ask a question to the society, - The rape victim is blamed for her rape, for the injuries inflicted on her body and her mind; despite her constant refusal to entertain the advances of a man. So, what should be the punishment for the rapist who so "innocently" rapes a woman, thrashes her self- esteem, insults the essence of womanhood thereby uprooting her existence and destroying her life; against her will and consent?

                        

I was, I’m and shall continue to be – 'A woman of Substance' - by Blogger Snehal

A Sanskrit (a prominent, ancient language) verse states – “Yatra naryastu Pujyante ramante tatra devatah yatraitaastu na pujyante sarvaastrafalaah kriyaah” :- Divinity rejoices where women are honoured and respected; where they are not, even sacred acts are fruitless. This verse gives us a glimpse of the social stature of women in the ancient time that boasts of social equality.

 Myriad significant changes suppressed the status of women across the globe over the centuries. There was an emergence of patriarchal structure of the society that perpetuated oppression of women, mainly through sexual violence. “Masculinity” was defined through power, violence, aggression and dominance whereas “Imposed Femininity” was defined as weak, inferior, powerless, oppressed, exploited sex who had no choice but to surrender as a victim or a prey to these male predators. The tyranny continued in the form of rape, sexual assault, violence, oppression, fear of death, apprehension of grievous hurt that pushed womanhood into the dark, unbearable abyss of humiliation and self pity for centuries to come.

An honest, deep introspection then led women to stand up for their right, their right to live with dignity, right to breathe freely. A flash! Then was an emergence of a feminist era that not only revolutionized but refined the status of women. Women now can walk shoulder to shoulder with men and voice their choices too. Feminism is a strength that changed the face of victims into survivors and opened the doors of competitive world for them. Today, women are not mere sex objects; women are a symbol of power, equality, strength and much more. All that a woman needs is to be loved, to be heard and to be respected. Simple!

The question that arises is, are women really safe in this male dominated world? The answer is yes, provided men use their strength for creating cultures free of violence and have a positive influence on womanhood.

It is always said that the apprehension of rape limits the potential of a woman. I believe that encouragement coupled with support and love can help them expand the boundaries of their potential and proudly say “I’m worth it”.