Going to college brings many changes for students. Not only are they expected to succeed academically, but young men and women must also learn to balance their schoolwork, social life, and extracurricular activities, mostly without their parents' direct supervision and guidance. While this newfound freedom is largely welcomed, the adjustment to college can be challenging and lead to unexpected problems that can interfere with a student's ability to do well. As a child transitions from high school to college, it is very important for parents and guardians to have honest conversations with students about what this next phase of their academic careers will bring.
Facilitating the transition to college starts considerably early. As a child enters his or her teen years, parents must instill a sense of responsibility in their children. Someone who has their mother or father doing all of their laundry and managing their schedules will probably find themselves in a precarious situation come freshman year. Children who take on more active roles in their household have a much stronger understanding of the adult responsibilities expected of them when they leave for school.
A big topic that needs to be tackled when preparing for college is personal safety. High school graduates who go off to schools away from home, especially in a different type of setting (i.e. someone from a small town attending college in a large city) may find maneuvering in their new environment without adult guidance to be stressful at best. Students should be highly aware of their surroundings, and parents need to stress precautions such as locking dorm rooms, keeping valuables protected, and traveling with friends, particularly at night. A person who is not constantly mindful of those around them are much easier to take advantage of by strangers or even classmates.
One of the key components of safety has to do with interactions with other students. Many new college enrollees will find themselves in situations such as large parties for the first time, bereft of the constant watchful eye of their parents. Mothers and fathers must have these conversations in such a way that will be most helpful to their child. When discussing matters such as sex and drugs, an abstinent-only policy will not work. It will only leave a student confused on how to handle a situation when faced with it. Parents should remember when they were in their children's shoes. Their son or daughter is no longer a young kid and will encounter very adult scenarios when away at school. Talking to students openly about sex entails conversations about protection and consent, as well as handling unwanted advances. Many girls for example, will go off to college and be sexually harassed and/or assaulted, but not consider these crimes as anything more serious than general discomfort, and may even blame themselves for the attack. If this conversation is not easy, a parent could enlist the help of a teacher or counselor. But the small amount of awkwardness between adult and child is minuscule when compared to the potential consequences. In the same notion, kids should be aware of drugs, particularly alcohol. Most students will come across substance use on their campuses, many for the first time, and will need to be prepared. Many college freshmen end up hospitalized during their first weeks of school because they took their new liberties a little too far, and were not well informed on the outcomes of their actions. There will be those students who never use drugs or drink. But instead of the simple "drugs are bad and don't do them" speech, parents must make sure their children understand what to do in college situations regarding substance use. For example, avoiding pre-mixed drinks in favor of closed bottles or cans at parties is important. Spiking drinks or making them stronger than the drinker can handle often leads to dangerous situations such as overdose and rape. With that being said, the connection between sex and drugs is important to understand. A high person cannot legally give consent to sexual activity, and drinking and/or using drugs without the supervision of trusted friends can lead to a very unsafe environment.
While it often brings back memories of uncomfortable middle school lectures, parents should make sure their children understand peer pressure. It will play a much greater role in college than ever before, and more often than not parents will not be around to check these external influences. Peer pressure goes even beyond drinking and sex, and can be as seemingly benign as skipping a homework assignment to go out with friends. While it may seem tempting in the moment, these instances of avoiding work can quickly lead to falling far behind in class.
Even when a student goes off to college and begins their undergraduate studies, one of the most important things a parent can do is keep an open line of communication with their kids. They will naturally want their space from Mom and Dad and not feel constantly bothered by calls and messages, but in the long run will appreciate having their parents' support. Too often are college students afraid of bringing up new problems and concerns with their parents for fear of harsh judgement or ostracism, and loved ones will often find out too late when there is a serious issue. A parent should remain authoritative, but stress that they are there to support their child in whatever way they can.
Conversations such as these are loaded, and not easy, but are crucial in helping make college the best experience that it can be for a young adult. Growing up can be difficult and stressful enough, and to remain a stellar student while juggling all of life's ups and downs can seem almost impossible. But a parent, since infancy, is there to guide and nurture us to become successful, happy adults. Keeping college students healthy and safe begins before they even step foot on campus, and a strong support system from the start of freshman year will ensure they not only complete their degree, but leave college with a wealth of good experiences.
