The Red Flag Campaign, an organization dedicated to preventing dating violence on college campuses, provides the following statistics1:
· 350 incidents of rape occur in a given year on a campus with 10,000 students.
· 75% of male students and 55% of female students who have been raped report that they had been under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
· 60% of rapes that occurred on campus took place in the victim’s residence, 31% took place in other campus residence halls, and 10% took place in fraternities.
· 9 out of 10 victims knew their perpetrator.
Four hundred students lived in my residence hall freshmen year and my campus had about 10,000 students. Hypothetically, this means that all but 50 of us represent the number of rapes that occurred each year and 315 of us knew the perpetrator. Furthermore, 210 rape incidents took place in my residence hall and over half involved some form of partying.
I wish this surprised me, but it does not. My rape involved copious amounts of alcohol, occurred in my home, and the perpetrator was a friend I had known for eight years. For a long time, I thought I might have prevented it had I not been drunk and passed out. This does not mean that I believe it was my fault because it wasn’t. It also does not me I think I deserved it because I was drunk and passed out. Last time I checked, getting drunk, making sure I left the bar with friends in a cab, and passing out in my own bed was actually the “responsible” thing to do when alcohol was involved. So, if I did everything “right,” why did this happen?
I believe two major preventative measures are necessary to really begin to shift the statistics listed above. All are equally important, so I will introduce them in alphabetical order- Bystander Intervention, and Party Responsibly. The first is Bystander Intervention. This means that everyone must take a stand, even if it means confronting a friend who you suspect of being a perpetrator. The Red Flag Campaign says, “When you see a Red Flag, say something.” Confronting friends is hard, but seeing friends in pain is harder. Dr. Alan Berkowitz2, a licensed psychologist who specializes bystander intervention, shares many great resources to help you confront your friend. The first is to maintain your safety, and the second is to intervene directly or indirectly as soon as possible. This could include anonymously calling the police, confronting the perpetrator with a group of people, and staying with the potential victim until the threat is over. Please visit his website below for more resources.
Party Responsibly. The majority of us drink in college and some do drugs. What does it feel like to be buzzed? What does it feel like to be drunk or high? At what point, do you loose control? One beer and one shot? Five shots and three beers? More? Less? What is your plan to get home? Who are your “buddies” for the night? What are your limits with physical intimacy? How do those change when you are buzzed, drunk, or high? What do your friends think of as “cool” partying? Is it the one who can drink the most? Or the one who can maintain a buzz and simply have fun? These questions are meant to encourage reflection on what responsible partying means for you. “Partying” is not a bad thing. “Partying Irresponsibly” is. I simply ask that you answer these questions for yourself. If any of your answers are cause for a red flag signaling that you might be irresponsible, make a change in your partying behavior. There is a way to have fun and be safe.
1“Sexual and Dating Violence on Campuses: Research,” http://www.theredflagcampaign.org/index.php/resources/sexual-and-dating-violence-on-campuses-research/, retrieved on November 23, 2011.
2Berkowitz, Alan. “Resources on Bystander Behavior Compiled in 2009,” http://www.alanberkowitz.com/bystander_behavior.php, retrieved on November 23, 2011.
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