To be or not to be- by blogger Snehal Gajare

Is it a sin to be born as a woman or is it a blessing to be born as a man? This question has been haunting mankind for ages together.  Gender roles were never inscribed in rule books but have been imposed stringently on both the sexes by the society. We as humans have accustomed ourselves to the societal guidelines of ideals and behaviour that we often refrain from distinguishing what is ethically right or wrong. The rat race of societal acceptance has compelled the sexes to follow their respective gender roles. This led to the emergence of misogyny, the urge for sexual entitlement, power, dominant ideologies, oppression and finally “Rapes”.

Men are always construed to be stronger than women. This belief explicitly restricts them from showing any emotions of fear or sadness. On the other hand women are expected to be more sensitive and feminine. This belief restricts their freedom totally. Men who cry or express their feelings are often construed to be weak or gay whereas women who walk shoulder to shoulder with men are considered to be extremely bold and are referred as tomboys. As a woman, I personally feel that every person (be it a man or a woman) has the right to express oneself and engage in activities that shape their personality. These socially carved gender roles create a sense of dominance among the men and this encourages them to have sexual triumphs over women resulting in rapes. Various studies have also revealed that men rape women either to seek revenge or as a punishment. Objectification of woman as a means of sexual entitlement is deep rooted in the society. Moreover, women are blamed for their rapes merely on the grounds of weaker sex.

The society needs to understand that there is no justification for rape.  I’m not saying that only women are raped. Even men are subjected to rape. The traditional views of masculinity and Femininity and ‘acceptable behaviour’ for both the sexes have to be redefined. To conclude I prefer to state that blaming a rape victim, male or female is a sin. To be or not to be born as a man or a woman is always a blessing and not a sin.

Coming to a College Campus Near You: Gender Roles 101?

By: Jade

Male or female, for most of the general population this is an easy question filled out on many forms.  What if you identified yourself as neither but were forced to pick.  In a society that is changing minute by minute we still seem to have this idea that we must pigeon-holed ourselves into gender roles.  Fifty years ago a man predominantly went to work, while a woman reared children and took care of the house.  Even today it seems the when a baby girl is born a majority of people want to buy her something pink, and frilly.

                Today there are more women attaining higher education degrees than ever was before.  Women are accepted in nearly every aspect of the professional world.  In a world that tells children they can grow up to be anything, society still expects a boy to play baseball over ballet. 

                Recently Facebook is telling their consumer define themselves with 50 plus gender options.  Users now have the choice to tell the Facebook world who they truly are. Is it time for the academic world to offer a mandatory class on the ever changing gender roles of today’s society?  Perhaps.  What one does not know tends to breed fear, and intolerance.   A class on gender roles could open the minds of the collegiate attendee.   A class where participants can discuss what they think is changing in society, and what is not.  Opinions on what is expected for individuals in this present society could be discussed as well.  

Currently  most intuitions across the United States offer women studies and/or gender roles classes.  At the very least gender roles are featured in certain curriculum.  Understanding one another as who we define ourselves as, seems like a positive message to spread to impressionable college student.  Ellen page recently came out at the Human Rights Campaign’s Time to Thrive conference.  During her speech she stated “the simple fact that this world would be a whole lot better if we just made an effort to be less horrible to one another.”  I couldn’t agree with her more.

Gender roles, sex, and love affect our views on sexual assault by Benedictine University blogger Karly Sacco

As time changes, the view that people have on what is a “normal” love relationship has altered from the old days. Man and Woman. That was the only possibility for a long time in order to be in love. Today, love is love. It shouldn’t matter if it is man with man or woman with woman but unfortunately it does. But with every relationship there are good and bad components no matter whom you are with, and that is unfortunate as well. Gender roles are issues that have been occurring for decades and with this idea become certain assumptions.

1.    

Males are the dominate ones in the relationships, so if someone is being sexually assaulted it is ALWAYS the mans fault, no matter what.


2. The woman is usually helpless when she is in a relationship with someone who is sexually assaulting her and she has no way out because of him being so powerful over her.


3. The relationship is complicated because he still “loves her” so its okay if her takes advantage.






There are other assumptions about gender roles if you look at it from a sexual assault point of view, but I feel like these three are the ones that most people think of when it comes to this topic. However no matter if you are gay, lesbian, straight, or something in between. There is always a way out, or a way to prevent getting sexually assaulted. Do not think that just because you are “in love” or when you make love then that makes it okay because they really do love you. If someone is hurting you, get out; it is not worth the hurt. There are ways to prevent or get help with the three above assumptions.






1. It is not ALWAYS the man’s fault; women can be just as capable of sexually assaulting as men. However, to prevent this issue, make sure that you commit your life to an individual that treats you with respect and does not believe in dominance. If you see any sign of your significant other acting that way, get help! Talk to someone, to HIM OR HER about it. Chances are you can prevent the issue before it gets worse.


2. You are never helpless. A lot like number one, there is a way out. Prevent the issue before it gets worse with support from others.


3. Sometimes people can be trapped in a relationship because of the aspect of loving one another, but you have to come to face reality and realize if that other person really loved you they wouldn’t be sexually assaulting you.








The ideas that society has about these topics really affect our views on sexual assault. However it is up to you to be strong and see that there’s is always a place to get help or to talk to someone, if you are ever in a hard situation with your significant other just remember you are not alone.

Consent: Clearing Up the Grey by Katiera Sordjan

     One of the most important things we can do to combat sexual assault on college campuses is to educate students on the importance of consent. This is crucial regardless of gender identity, sexual orientation, or the nature of the relationship between the individuals. Understanding what consent is, giving and receiving it throughout sex is crucial to ensuring that students are safe and respected.

     Our concept of rape and sexual assault is often very concrete and stereotypical; a person is physically overpowered or otherwise forced into intercourse or other sexual acts by someone else. However, many times this is not the case, and leaves victims feeling violated but not sure that they would describe the encounter as assault. These 'grey areas' are very problematic in confronting the issue of sexual assault and even more difficult to process legally.

     Consenting to sexual activity is more than just a person saying yes before sex begins. A couple or group should communicate both before and during sex about their sexual desires and wants. Consent means that a person willingly agrees to have sex. They may consent to some sexual activities and not others. Talking with each other ensures everyone is comfortable and enjoying being intimate.

     It is important to remember that not saying 'no' doesn't automatically mean a yes to any sexual activity. Pressuring or coercing someone to have sex is sexual assault. A person has the right to change their mind at any time during sex about what they want to do with their partners. If a person is intoxicated they cannot consent. Taking advantage of someone under the influence is rape.

     When having sex you should never make any assumptions, insinuations, or be vague with your partner. Even if you are in a serious relationship with your partner or have had consensual sex with them before, consent is still needed from both of you every time you have sex. Do not assume that doing one activity is permission for another. Never make inferences about someone's desire to have sex based on factors such as their gender, sexual orientation, clothing, or past sexual history. Similarly, you cannot use your own sexual and personal identity as a substitute for consent. None of these things are consent; a clear and enthusiastic 'yes' is.

     Talking about sex may seem awkward and interruptive, ruining the mood of being intimate. But having conversation before sex will make things run much smoother and be clear for everyone. During sex, partners should simply check for feedback from each other. Pay attention to words and body language, and incorporate it into your sex play by telling them what you would like to do with them next. If your partner seems hesitant it is important to ask them if it is okay to continue, plainly and nonagressively. Likewise, your partner should be paying attention to you to make sure you are engaged and comfortable during any sexual activities you do together. Using 'safe words' can be helpful in BDSM sex and roleplays. If either person is hesitant or does not continue giving consent it is important to stop having sex and talk about what each of you wants to do. Good lovers listen to their partners and are in tune with their needs. 

     Sex should be fun, and an exciting way to be intimate with someone. It is a significant and memorable part of college life for many students. It should be free of pressure, discomfort, and constraining societal expectations. Consensual sex is not about power, but giving and receiving pleasure. Everyone should be able to explore their sexuality with others in a way that is enjoyable for them, without being harmed or taken advantage of. 

Gender Roles and Expectations in Relationships by Bradley University blogger Ashley

In a stereotypical, heterosexual relationship, we expect women to be submissive and men to be dominant, plain and simple. Some men cringe when their girlfriend tries to take control in certain situations because “that’s not her job,” and some try to put these women “back in their place” by whatever means they see acceptable. Some women judge other women for “not listening to their man”, and some believe that their main responsibility in life is to serve their boyfriend/husband.

Truth is, men and women are not simply black and white, just as relationships (and the expectations within said relationships) are not that way. We all know that heterosexual couples are not the only relationships that exist, so we shouldn’t compare any other couples with heteronormality in mind (i.e., she’s the “man” of the relationship). Bearing this in mind, how dominant or submissive a person is in a relationship depends on their personality. Someone should not feel the need to change who they are to fit into a certain role in a relationship, based on socially constructed gender roles.

Due to these constructed gender roles and expectations, unfortunately, sexual assault and abuse within relationships become acceptable. In heterosexual relationships, many women continue to blame themselves and feel guilt for not meeting the needs of their boyfriend/husband. So if their significant other decides to assault them in some form, these women feel as if they deserve it. In any relationship, partners may feel the duty to meet all needs/wants of their significant other. This belief can lead to manipulation and ultimately doing something undesirable. Just because you’re in a relationship and have had sex with your partner in the past does not automatically make sex an expectation every time it is desired on one end- you have the right to say “no” in a relationship. If your significant other proceeds to push you into having intercourse, it is time to reevaluate the relationship. Sexual assault happens within relationships, but too often survivors are afraid to speak up because sexual acts are expected in a relationship.

The way I see it, unless expectations are specifically discussed between partners, don’t expect anything. If it hasn’t been discussed, ask first. It never hurts to ask your partner if x, y, or z is acceptable in a relationship because them saying “yes” or “no” helps you avoid possible “miscommunications.” Depending on how long you’ve been with your partner, you may not know all that has occurred in their past. Don’t assume that you can automatically touch them in certain ways simply because your last partner enjoyed this action- everyone is different. Your love for your partner truly shows when you respect their boundaries and ask when in doubt. 

Do colleges need to teach a class on gender roles on co-ed campuses? by Southern New Hampshire University blogger Veronica

A college student can be aware of their environment when there is a significant attention towards the subjects of sex and gender roles. In fact, there are many conflicts dealing with the issues of sex and gender equality in classes from kindergarten all the way up to college aged students. In many subjects dealing with this hot issue, there is the issue of whether gender roles should be debated or discussed in classrooms, especially in college. In this state that we are today, females are being taught equally about their majors but lack the respect needed. With modern technology causing uproar in the media with sex texting and online pornography, there is no doubt that many females feel violated. Nevertheless, there are stalkers and peeping toms everywhere. Making it easy for male students to take advantage of the situation and perform sexual assaults or acts. Not all male students do these acts and only a few have been reported. Since many colleges are co-ed, there needs to be more of a learning environment where students and teachers can discuss over the power of sex and relationships and barge down on the negativity. It is important for female students and male students to better their relationship goals and their needs to defend themselves when they need to. It is likely that there will be newer rules on campuses and the expressions on the differences and similarities between male and female. In the end, there are many college campuses that are practicing the use of co-ed bathrooms. Co-ed bathrooms? Only today can this happen.