Parental support during transition can be a constructive phase in child’s life- by blogger Snehal Gajare

Transitions have been a part and parcel of our lives. There is simply no way out. Transitions however, could be pleasing for some while heart wrecking for the rest.  But the element of “change” is the only ‘constant’ aspect of all the transitions. One such transitional phase can occur when kids grow up and leave their nests to study in colleges. This is when this serene parent - child relationship is forced to stand the test of time. Both, the parents and their children undergo an emotional turmoil; a feeling of independence, autonomy, the pain of children drifting away coupled with excitement of an achievement that the children are ready for experiencing the college life.

Communication:

Communication is an extremely powerful tool.  An open discussion pertaining to the concerns and the fears of your child can do wonders. When parents express their attitude and explain their reasoning, you automatically provide knowledge, confidence, inspiration and assurance to your children. This helps them in taking their own respective decisions thus accelerating the process of seeking answers to the questions they may actually have.

Here are a few tips for parents of college students:

1.     Ensure that the lines of communication are open. Your child is no longer a kid. He/She is an adult now.

2.     You as a parent are bound to be concerned about the safety of your child in the college. So it is always important that you initiate a conversation with him/her before joining the college and after a few months of joining the college. You can always introduce the topic with the help of news stories and current events.

3.     You can always have a discussion on the qualities that are required for a healthy relation to flourish. For instance: Trust, safety and mutual respect.

4.     As a parent you should acknowledge the choices of your students (children) pertaining to their responsibilities. Have a frank conversation about consequences of excessive drinking, drugs, abuse to lower the risk of alcohol consumptions and drugs.

5.     This is when you can even highlight about the qualities that one should never possess and those that can be destructive and harmful for others. For instance: violence, sexual assaults, bullying, vandalism etc.

6.     Appreciation and emotional support is an integral part of parenting. But ensure that at the same time the student’s (child’s) independence and privacy is also retained.

7.     As responsible parents you can always stay connected with your children through mails. Enquire about their attendance, academics, room-mates, professors and friends. Encourage them to actively participate in the campus events.

8.     Keep an eye on 'signals' of unusual behaviour from your student. Remember sensing an unusual behaviour early can aid you in arranging for the necessary help for your student (child).

9.     Finally, patience, support and open communication are the keys to develop a healthy relation with your children. 

    With proper efforts you can imbibe good values in your students (children) and open the doors of communication with them for a lifetime.