My dress is not my consent- by blogger Snehal Gajare

I wonder why, I wonder how, I lie in this social bog of humiliation.

I know I’m sinking deep but I want to stay afloat and reach more solid ground.

My body is numb; I feel sad, extreme pain running across my veins,

And my perpetrator is walking away after hunting me like a prey........ .......Thoughts of a rape victim

“Provocative clothing” invites men to rape - A well tailored, long lasting myth which is an outcome of misogynist attitude towards women.  In simple language, clothes do not cause rape but rapists do. If so, why are kids raped? Kids do not wear any provocative clothes. So let’s admit it; a woman is not raped because of the clothes she wears, she is raped because a sick minded predator has such intent. Women draped in saris, salwar-kameez, burqas, wearing business attires like pant suits are also raped. A woman has an equal right of choosing to wear what she likes, just as a man does. Such pitiful excuses condemning women’s clothing for rape is utterly pathetic and sexist.

To prevent a potential attack, it is the responsibility of a woman to dress modestly. Isn't it the responsibility of the potential offender to curb his sexual desires that can ruin someone’s life forever? Such irrelevant impositions from the society tend to give a wrong message to the teenagers; especially the girls. Most of the girls think rather believe that it is their fault if they are raped. This is how society transfers the blame from the offender to that of the victim (by blaming her dressing). Is this fair? Why do girls have to grow up believing this stupid myth that provocative dressing causes rape?  Any sane person with a reasonable bent of mind should be able to control and curb his desires. This is something that the society needs to start preaching.

It’s more devastating to know that some conservative political leaders across the globe don’t even feel the need to condemn such social evils in the society. Instead, the political platform is used to make unreasonable, irritating and unacceptable statements against women and rape victims. Such unchallenged social attitudes coupled with unfair laws and molded stereotypical gender roles often relegate the status of a woman. Low conviction rates, high incidence of rape and the existence of a sexist blame culture are a triangular set of problems that the society and the government need to address at the first instance.

Survivors Taking Back their Power by bloger Jade

When and individual attains the title of survivor, that individual looses a whole lot of themselves.  It could be the fear of reliving the flashbacks, or what they should have done differently so that the incident would not have happened.  They may feel ugly, alone, powerless, and not like themselves.  When someone decides to make a person a survivor of rape they leave a different person behind.

Some survivors seek help right away; they know they need other people around them to help them through this experience.  Others may pretend like it did not happen, or question if it did really happen.  If they decide to ignore what happened it may stay hidden but not forever.  Something, someone, or a situation will spark that horrific memory, and then you are dealing with it all over again. 

The absolutely great thing about being a survivor is that you do not have to survive alone.  It can be confiding in someone close to you, or sharing your experiences with other on a more public scale.  As supporters of survivors we can give back the power that was lost.  Simply acknowledging that non consensual sex does happen is providing support.  Becoming an active listener is another great way to support a survivor, listen to her story.

For a survivor getting that story out there and acknowledging that it did happen can be an amazing step in the healing process.  It also is nice to know that you are not alone, that other people may have gone through the same experience and have regained themselves.  It may give you the mentality to say if they can do it I can do it.  Becoming a survivor does not have to overtake you it can become a part of you that makes you a stronger person.

Society's Twisted View of A Woman's Body by Benedictine Blogger Karly

We have a very fast moving society in America. It is really easy for us to just go through the motions without any emotions on a day-to-day basis. People pass judgments all the time, so it is not that surprising that a big part of our culture is sex selling and women are at the core of it. In a way it may seem easier to the aggressor whom victimizes women because if she does not see herself as nothing more than an object then why should it matter what happens to her? However, a woman being viewed this way is not all society’s fault. Some girls regrettably make the name for the rest of us.

Yes sex does sell,  but if it was not for some of the girls that take their sexy image a little bit too far with risky clothing and promiscuous behavior, things might be a little better for the view of women.

It is depressing that some women do not even care if they are called objects because with the image that society has given women, they feel like “well maybe it is okay to feel worthless because people already view me that way.”

Many girls do not have any respect for their own body. The main blame goes on society and what it has done to the female population. But it cannot take all the blame. Girls need to stand up for themselves and speak up when they feel like they are being treated like trash. We need to stop society’s negative views of women and change them to look at women and think words like, power, leadership, feminism, strength, and respect.

The key is for us as women to better ourselves and for others to see that females are not just a sex object. Girls are not just something that can be easily thrown around. Some people will never fully change, but let’s give them a reason to stop and think; women are more than just a body.

Style does not mean an invitation for rape by blogger Veronica

With so much attention on fashion these days, there is an enormous cautionary tale concerning people criticizing and imaging a person to fit a certain personality. In fact, many from generations of yesteryear consider youths of today to be wild and irresponsible, but to top it off if a young person has a tattoo, piercings or wear sexy clothes, they are automatically judged. Consider when a young female has a tattoo, piercing or wears sexy clothes, many males think it is an invitation to getting in their pants. Which is totally wrong, since so many of the victims of a crime, especially rapes have been considered asking for it. 

           It is heavily known that many young women wish to express themselves as hip and trendy and with so many trends out there, there is an unspeakable number of those that follow them. Many women consider wearing crop tops, skinny jeans or even bandeau tops. These are what are hot these days, with a flood of magazines showing off these trends and igniting young men and young women to flock to their nearest mall to purchase them. 

            It takes a lot of time educating those that ignore their emotions and do not open up to diversity that drags behind. If only people would realize the importance in being your own person and expressing how you feel at that moment, whether it be to paint on your body, dye your hair pink or even wear torn stockings, it all has to do with a person’s personal choice and it should be no one’s business to how a person carries their life. There should be freedom for all women to dress the way they choose. 

         If only misconceptions can be illegal and those young women that are persecuted by hate and criticism can feel that they done nothing wrong and that the uniform of dress should not be only humble or modest, because a person is only young once, when a person lays down the rules for being their own woman, they do not have to feel persecuted or lonely. It takes what they have in their own minds that should be judged and young men shouldn’t consider styles as an invitation for rape. 

     Rape victims feel lost without their own personal freedoms. Young males need to understand that just because a girl wears a certain thing does not mean they have to play with the situation. Young women need only to talk and be sociable to be hot and a real catch. Clothes do not make the person. 

           

           

            

        

Men and Women – Equal before law and society? – by blogger Snehal Gajare

The term “Feminist” cannot be spelled correctly if you remove the alphabets “m”, ”e” and “n”. Its looks like “Feiist”. Likewise, the struggle for equality and empowerment of women cannot attain sublimity without the support of men. Yes, you read it right.  The words “feminist” and “men” can be conflated together to give rise to a new-age revolution that ponders the concept of gender equality. Shocked????? Don’t be.......... Constant exposure and encounters with the blogosphere, media maneuvers and the feminist activities have made it possible for a small population of men to accept this appellation of “male feminist’ or ‘feminist men’.

Patriarchy is like a monster that dwells in the society and gallops the rights and freedom of women by oppressing them. This is the probable reason why men actually bear the responsibility of smashing the patriarchal system prevailing in the society. I think men have to relate themselves to the challenges, oppression, disrespect and inequality that women face. This will help them to understand the text of feminist theory in an appropriate manner. A few suggestions can help men in fostering equality in their day to day life which in turn can be a massive contribution to the culture where women feel loved, respected and worthy of living a normal life.

1.       Give women the space that they need. Support them whenever and wherever needed.

2.       Help them in housework and participate actively in taking care of children.

3.       Remember, love, mutual respect and honesty will help your relation with your female partner bloom.

4.       Praising the accomplishments and virtues of your female partner can make her feel special and worthy.

5.       Ensure that you inject feminism while conversing with your male friends and never treat your spouse disrespectfully.

6.       Never be a bystander in cases of sexism online. Object sexist tweets, posts on the internet. If you encounter a situation where a woman is subjected to sexism, you can always lend a helping hand.

7.       Remember, your children look upon you as a role model. So, it is you who has to imbibe the virtues of equality, respect and dignity in your kids. You don’t want your son to be a male chauvinist and be termed so by the rest of the world.

8.       You can also join protests against sexual assaults, Remember sexual assault is not a woman issue. Even men are subjected to sexual assault. Sexual assault is itself grave offense.

9.       Objectifying women and considering her as a prey in the quest for entitlement depicts the weakness of a man and is not a sign of masculinity.

This is not an exhaustive list. There will surely be many add-ons. I hope these few pointers can help men understand their role in the process of liberalization of women. The main purpose of this article is to encourage men to be pro-feminism and be a support system to their female counterparts in battling their struggle for equality.

"Fathers Set Examples" by blogger Allisyn from Pitzer College

It was the Cameron Crowe film Singles (1992) that originally taught my father how to lead by example in regards to respect for women, or for anyone really. The female protagonist, Janet, bemoans that all she wants in a romantic partner is someone that will say “bless you” when she sneezes. It seems that chivalry, even in the simplest forms of common courtesy, has been somewhat lost. My father recognized this after watching Singles the year I was born, just in time to teach me, through his actions rather than words, that I deserve someone who says “bless you” when I sneeze. He always holds the door open for me, gives explanations when I ask for one, communicates everything to me so I am never lost or confused.

A father can teach his children respect for women by doing, not just telling. He must treat his daughters the way he feels other men should treat them. For his sons, he must respect the women surrounding them, their mother, their sisters, their aunts, their grandmother. Throughout a lifetime, children will learn from their fathers the basics of the most common respect. From there, as they mature, as life becomes more complex, they will build upon the base of respect and gain the morality it takes to be a respectful romantic partner. Girls will know not to romanticize the idea of sex to the point where they feel it is their sole purpose, and boys will realize that women have just as much power over their sexual encounters as they do.

Thanks to my father, a humble and respectful man, I knew what it feel like to be respected as a woman and as a human being at a young age. Now that I am a grown woman, I know what I deserve, and I know how to fundamentally respect others as they respect me. The older I get, the further the bounds of respect move past a simple “bless you.”

Male Participation in the Feminist Movement! By Jade

In the world today men make up a little less than half of the population.  They participate in every aspect of society.  They are life partners, supporters, teachers, and competitors of women.  They also hold a different perspective on society, inherently gained from growing up in the world as a man. 

When my interest in Women’s Rights started to grow while I was attending my first Women’s Studies class in college, I found it odd at first that men were in favor of feminism.  It seemed they were contradicting their own existence.  I believe now it was my lack of knowledge and understanding of feminism, to say the least I was a naive sophomore in college.

It did not take me long, with the help of my teacher, and fellow students (especially the male ones) that the suppression of women is everybody’s problem not just a woman’s.   The men we learned about in class and the men in my class understood there was a gap between how men and women are treated in society and were willing to participate in a movement that aims to close this gap. It only makes sense that the support of the other half of society could only strengthen the feminist movement. 

I think the first step in men participating in the new wave of feminism is to acknowledge women.  It seems simple, but we are different from men we typically have different emotions that we show stronger than men; we also have different strengths and weakness’ than men.  These differences do not make us the weaker sex.  If men acknowledge that we are different but equal this is an excellent step in the feminist movement. 

    I also think supporting women in her ideals, ideas, and opinions are other excellent ways to participate.  Women can be restricted from attaining her goals if the men in her life do not support her dreams and aspirations.  If a woman wanted to attend college but, grew up in society where most of her peers did not attend college, the woman is more likely to attend if those around her including men support her in her decision.   It seems that ideas and opinions grow stronger if those closest to you are supporting them. 

Active participation in the feminist movement is excellent as well.  It could mean men providing information on the feminist movement in casual conversation or on a larger scale.  Also companies providing equal pay for equal work can help.  Men can also participate in walks, protest, and join in and support on the congressional level. 

For me I am really excited to be living at time where change seems to be happening at an incredible rate.  The idea of a women president is a reality! This is amazing! As we forge forward in the feminist movement it is important to look back at how far our fore-mothers have come, and how much further we need to go. It is also an excellent feeling to know that there are men willing to join this moment with us.