Denim Day by Blogger Rhaina

To me, Sexual Assault Awareness Month means a chance for my community to show support to survivors. At Mississippi State University, there are several annual events associated with sexual assault awareness and prevention. One such event is Denim Day.

Denim Day began in 1999 when an Italian supreme court overturned a rape conviction based on what the victim was wearing—tight blue jeans. Members of both foreign and U.S. Congress protested the ruling by wearing denim jeans to work. Today, across the nation, agencies with dress codes ask their employees to donate money towards sexual violence prevention, and in return the employees can wear jeans to work for a day. Politicians, students, and others may wear jeans to symbolize solidarity against sexual assault.

At MSU, the student body is asked to donate blue jeans to the Health Education and Wellness Office. These jeans are then donated to local causes such as Safe Haven, Inc., a shelter for abused women which also operates a rape crisis hotline. MSU celebrates Denim Day in a unique way—if you would like your campus or your community to do something similar to show their support for this event, getting involved is easy!

Denim Day 2015 is on April 29^th, and there are currently over four million registered participants. If you would like to participate, there are several things you can do. Sign up on www.denimdayinfo.org, ask your employers or professors if they would consider joining in, donate jeans to a local shelter, or simply wear blue jeans to show support.

Participating in Sexual Assault Awareness Month doesn’t always mean being bold, or loud, or hosting an extravagant event. You don’t need a lot of money, or a large group of people, or any special skills. You can help raise awareness for sexual assault by doing something as simple as changing your outfit. As Michelle Obama said, “Don’t ever underestimate the importance that you have, because courage can be contagious and hope can take on a life of its own.” This April, make a small change. Stand up for something. Let your courage and your hope be contagious, and be a light for others and a call to awareness. That’s what this month is all about.

Sexual Assault Awareness Month: What You Can Do At SLU by Saint Louis University blogger Abigail

Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Kind of a mouthful, right? It’s a mouthful, but it’s an important one for students to understand and recognize.

Here at SLU, we live in a fairly sheltered environment. A bubble, if you will. The words, “That happens, but it doesn’t happen here” are uttered constantly around campus about issues like racism, sexism and sexual assault.

The problem is, it does happen here. Sexual assault happens everywhere, so much so that it’s estimated 1 in 4 women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime.

Sexual Assault Awareness Month is important because it starts conversations and shines light on the fact that there are issues everywhere. No one is immune to sexual assault, and the first step to preventing it is acknowledging that sexual assault exists.

Luckily, there are groups at SLU, in St. Louis, and around the country that have organized events during the month of April to talk about sexual assault. I’ve complied a list below that I’m sure is not completely comprehensive, but is a good place to start.

·      Project Not Asking For It – This project hits on the fact that no matter how you’re dancing or what you’re wearing, you’re not asking for sexual interactions. Here's the link to the Facebook event. It’s located SGA Student Lounge today (April 8) from 11-1, tomorrow (April 9) from 4-6, and Friday April 10 from 11-1, sponsored by SLU Wellness and SLU TV.

·      A Walk in Her Shoes – An interactive presentation by Safe Connections about sexual assault. Here's a link to the Facebook event. It’s located in BSC 253 B&C at 7:00 pm on Monday April 13^th, sponsored by Una, the Feminist Voice of SLU.

·      Denim Day – Take a stand by wearing jeans in solidarity on April 29^th against a 1999 court case that declared jeans were the reason a woman was raped. Here's the link to the Facebook event, brought to SLU by Una.

·      Take Back the Night – A night of performances, dialogue, food, community and a vigil to join forces against sexual violence. Here's the link to the Facebook event. It’s hosted by Una and takes place from 7-10 pm on Thursday, April 30^th.

·      Stroll to Heal the Soul – A run/walk to bring awareness to sexual violence. Here's the link to register. Takes place just outside of St. Louis on April 25^th at 7:00 am.

Keep an eye out for other events coming up this month, remembering that it’s up to us to start the discussion about sexual assault.

Speak Up and Help Spread Awareness by Karly Sacco

To me, sexual assault awareness month is something that needs more attention. It is unfortunate that there has to be a month to make awareness to such awful acts that occur in the first place, but what we can do now is raise consciousness to those who want and need to know more about sexual assaults. We as human beings need to start making a big difference in the world and participate in showing our community that we can make a change. No matter if it is just writing a blog, attending sexual assault awareness events, or giving speeches at your college, work, or community gatherings. 

            Just getting the word out there about how serious this issue is will make a difference in the long run. This month to me means that people are continuing to suffer and go through struggles, but on the positive end it also means that we are creating change and are helping those who have and are suffering. I go to a small private university, where some people are completely either unaware, or just don’t seem to care about the seriousness of sexual assault awareness month.

            I want to become more involved with spreading awareness on this serious topic, and I feel like creating a safe environment at my school for those who feel it is important or have suffered from sexual assaults to come and talk and share stories would be a great first step within my university's community. I feel that my generation sometimes gets caught up in issues that are so individualistic that they forget about helping others. We need to make a change for the future generations to follow.

We the equals - by blogger Snehal

Achieving gender equality requires the engagement of women and men, girls and boys. Its everyone’s responsibility - Ban Ki-moon

To all the misogynist men in the world I would like to put it straight. Feminism is not about hating men. It speaks of striving for gender equality that women have been deprived of for centuries together. March is Women’s History month; so I take the privilege of penning a few thoughts about Gender equality. The global scenario depicts that male dominance has been deep rooted in the society for centuries together. The emergence of the feminist era has broadened the social horizons thus paving way for the rising of women to their appropriate prominence. As a result the beautiful day will arrive when the whole world will recognize the harmony between man and woman.

Gender inequality refers to the difference in the status, prestige, power, opportunities, decision making rights and identities that the women are subjected to in comparison to men in a society. This is a global issue.  For instance: In some countries of the world women are restricted from driving cars while in others women do not have the basic right of education too.   Many a time’s women are paid less for the same work as men while in few countries house work is only vested with the women and not the men. Female infanticide and female foeticide are alarmingly rising in many countries. This is mainly because boys are considered to be the ones who shall carry forward the lineage of a clan. Women are deprived from inheriting the property too in various cultures and religions. These are only a few instances to name. The list is extremely long. Can a reasonable person recognize these instances as equality? We are women but we are humans too. We are not slaves or maids to receive such ill-treatment.  Why is this simple aspect forgotten?

I agree men are physically stronger and more aggressive by nature whereas women are construed to be the embodiment of inner dignity and subtleness.  In many cases this soft attitude is considered to be the weakness. In reality, subtle inner dignity is much stronger than the aggressive outbursts.  The true liberalization of both the sexes would be when both the sexes forget their respective egos and work in harmony for the betterment of mankind as a whole. Both the sexes should strive hard to bridge the gap of inequality.  Men should use their aggressive and dominant nature to good use whereas women should use the subtle nature not to portray weakness but power, motivation, understanding and intelligence.

Most of you may still pose the question, why this movement is still termed as Feminism and not Equalism or Humanism? Well, a simple answer to this is that we are still waiting for the beautiful day to arrive when women are considered equal in each and every field and in all walks of life.  That is when this long struggle of striving for equality shall end and then probably we can rephrase the term from Feminism to Equalism or Humanism.

Pasos Pequeños a Progreso Gigante por el blogger Emily

Desafortunadamente, tengo la habilidad atlética de un panda de bebé. Pero, cuando llega la hora del partido, encuentro el esfuerzo de un equipo de fútbol entero, luchando para ganar el último partido contra sus enemigos.



Me gusta pasar tiempo afuera jugando deportes, y me cría con dos hermanos, quien muchas veces me dijeron, “tires como chica.”




Cuando corrí a mi casa, sintiendo triste y faltando confianza en mi mismo, mi madre me dirigía a otra actividad más femenina, como jugar con muñecas.




Esta secuencia de eventos ocurre frecuentemente: una chica quiere hacer una actividad históricamente masculina, se pierde su confianza a causa de las palabras y actitudes de otros chicos u otras chicas, y se revierte a una actividad más clásicamente femenina.




Para obtener igualdad de sexo en la sociedad y encontrar un equilibrio entre los géneros, tenemos que quitarnos de nuestras vidas frases negativas como, “se tire como chica,” “ella probamente está menstruando,” o “se hace como chica.”




Yo sé que soy culpable de decir estas frases. Me había pedir disculpas para estar llena de emocionas, dando la culpa a mi sexo. Cuando un amigo o miembro de mi familia se está quejando le digo “eres tan como chica.”




Estas frases llegan de nuestras bocas tan frecuentemente que no pensamos en como se hacen daño. ¿Eres una chica? Este frase implique que la palabra “chica” y la palabra “irritante” o “débil” son los mismos. La frase, “ella probamente está menstruando” atribuye la expresión de emociones o pensamientos irracionales al género femenino.




Quizás no puedo tirar una pelota, pero este no significa que tiro como chica. Tengo tantas amigas quien pueden tirar perfectamente, y, al otro lado, tengo tantos amigos quien no pueden tirar.




El desequilibrio de género en nuestra sociedad es como una balanza con dos lados. Estas frases y actitudes, aún pequeños, son como piedras, pesando muchísimo juntos en un lado de la balanza. Tenemos que parar el uso común de ellas, porque aún parecen pequeñas, son poderosas juntas. Cuando las eliminamos de nuestras vidas, la balanza pueda encontrar equilibrio.

Little Steps Toward Big Progress by blogger Emily

I was unfortunately blessed with the athleticism of a baby panda bear. But, when it’s game time, I muster up the heart of an entire underdog high school football team and try my best.




I like to spend time outside playing sports and grew up with all brothers, often finding myself benched because I “threw like a girl.” Even some of the neighborhood girls who were more athletic than me would chime in on the ridicule.




When I ran back into the house, feeling discouraged and left out, my mom would comfort me and reroute me to a more gender-suitable activity like playing with Barbie dolls.




The aforementioned sequence of events is a common occurrence: a girl attempts to partake in a traditionally male activity, is discouraged by her male or female peers and then falls back on a more traditionally female activity.




In order to stand up for equal rights and garner a more gender-balanced society, we have to start small, ridding our lives of negative nuances like “she throws like a girl,” “she’s probably PMSing,” or “quit being such a girl.”




I’ll admit that I’m guilty of saying phrases like this. I’ve apologized for being emotional, blaming my gender for it. When a friend or family member complains about something, I’ve told him or her to “quit being such a girl.”




These phrases shoot out of our mouths so frequently that we don’t think about how they tear women down. Quit being such a girl? This phrase directly correlates annoying or weak behavior with the female gender so that “girl” becomes synonymous with “weak.” The phrase, “I’m probably just PMSing,” assumes that irrational thought processes or emotions are something unique to those with a uterus—which, believe me, are not.




I may throw poorly, but that does not mean I throw like a girl. I have plenty of female friends with incredible arms and on the other hand, I know plenty of men who throw poorly as well.




Picture the social gender imbalance like an old fashioned scale with two sides. These little comments and phrases are like rocks, weighing down one side of the scale. We have to stop saying them and stop passively agreeing with them. While they may seem trivial or passing, they are small pieces that add weight to the male side of the scale, creating an imbalance for women. By eliminating these phrases from our lives, we slowly start to level this out. As my dad always said, “Inch by inch, it’s a cinch. Yard by yard, it’s hard.” Little efforts like avoiding these phrases will have big long-term effects on the social gender imbalance.

“Girls get competitive, as though there’s only one spot in the world for everything, but that’s not true.” –Zooey Deschanel by blogger Rhaina

With this sentence, Ms. Deschanel perfectly summed up the struggle of young women today. We constantly pit ourselves against the next woman, aiming to be better; smarter; stronger. And if we can’t, we tear her down until we’re convinced we’re above her. When we do this, not only do we hurt ourselves by weighing ourselves down with negative thoughts, but we also contribute to a culture that consistently claims women are weak because they cannot rise above personal feelings to focus on more important matters. Each time we tear another woman down instead of building her up, we play into a divisive social structure.

Maybe it’s because for every five famous men we learn about in history and literature and science, we only learn about one woman. Maybe it’s because the few women we see in legislature rarely work together towards any end, while the men continue to make cohesive decisions regarding women’s issues. Maybe it’s because of films like The Duff or Clueless that claim a woman’s priority is her rank on the scales of likeability and attractiveness. Whatever it is that makes women feel that we can’t appreciate and uplift each other, it has to change.

As a woman, it’s often difficult to remember the truth in Deschanel’s statement—that there is more than one spot in the world for everything, and there is not one type of girl who fits into that spot. We think of words like smart, pretty, and successful as locks, and ourselves as the keys that must fit neatly into them. But the truth is, inside these words, these categories we use to define ourselves, there is room for everyone. This idea may not be reinforced by the media or taught in our schools, but it’s valid. It’s real. And if we could just stop playing into these ideas and stereotypes about ourselves, we could all see that. Then we could begin to change.

Making Our Currency Representative by blogger Ryan Flynn

I ran across an interesting 501c3 nonprofit the other day called Women on 20s, which aims to create a people’s mandate to get a woman on the twenty dollar bill by 2020, which would be the 100^th anniversary of the constitutional amendment giving women the right to vote. The organization is spreading awareness on every major social media platform and is encouraging website visitors to vote on who they would like to see on the twenty dollar bill.

So why the twenty dollar bill? The reason this bill was chosen is interesting. First off, everyone uses twenty dollar bills, which means there will actually be usage of currency that has a woman’s face on it (referring to the Susan B. Anthony dollar and Sacagawea coin of recent years). The second reason is that among any current currency face holder, Andrew Jackson is the most controversial. Jackson has been cited recently as having been a fierce opponent of the central banking system, instead favoring gold and silver coin to paper currency. Also, Jackson was a key player politically in the horrendous Trail of Tears, which resulted in the death of thousands of Native Americans.

             
With women’s rights continually gaining traction, especially with support of President Obama and his administration, this idea of putting a woman on currency has a real chance of happening. A country’s currency says what we value as a nation, and right now it is saying we value the accomplishments of white men who came before us more than any other class of people.

            
Currently, a movement just north of us in Canada is trying to do the same thing. In 2011, the Bank of Canada cancelled plans to display images of famous women activists on their $50 bill. Right now, a petition calling for this again has 48,000 signatures on it, including the signature of famous author Margaret Atwood. A website, womenonbanknotes.ca allows you to add images of famous Canadian women to bank notes and post them to social media, thus furthering awareness for the issue.

If we are going to continually saying that women are equal to men in this country, it is time that they are treated as such. Even though we can’t agree to pay women the same as men, or cover birth control on health insurance the same way as Viagra is, we can take this very small step of putting one woman on our paper currency. That is not very much to ask for. To quote famous American feminist and journalist Gloria Steinem, “Women have always been an equal part of the past. They just haven’t been part of history.”

Standing Together by Saint Louis University blogger Abigail

Before I delve into my beliefs on the power of everyone, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, age, socioeconomic status, religion, and more, standing together, I would like to note that I understand that not everyone identifies as a man or a woman. This blog makes some generalizations but for the sake of saving my words, I digress.

I’ve always been a guys’ girl. My whole life, it’s been easier for me to be friends with boys than girls and as I’ve gotten older that has become increasingly true. I have found myself with more male friends than female friends and closer friendships at that. I’m not sure why this is, but this sentiment has taught me about the power in a true male-female balance, and has shown me that when men and women work together, great things can happen.

There are generalizations about both men and women that seem to be relatively true. A Psychology Today article entitled “Brain Differences Between Genders” points out several of these differences. The most notable is that it is part of a woman’s nature to be concerned about the feelings of the people around her, due in part to a larger hippocampus, much more so than it is part of a man’s nature. Women are also able to, according to the article, move from task to task more quickly and multitask more effectively than men, whereas men thrive in focusing on one specific task. The combination of specialized thought and lack of concern for others might explain why men are more likely to fight to the top of the corporate ladder than women. However, a world that lacks emotional attachment and deep, contemplative thought is lacking, and that is where we really, really need female leaders. Women know that they can be powerful, incredible leaders. They are aware they possess the skills and insight to move the world forward. Now, we need men to join us.

While the number of female Fortune 500 CEOs is up to 24, the highest it has ever been, 95.2% of these companies are still run by men. That’s 476 men that have a huge global impact that could look to women for a more balanced work force. If those men made the push for equal pay for women, children and families would live in a better world. If these men, and all men, stood beside women, we can make big steps forward in other areas by combining our skills, perspectives and brain-power. A world where men and women stand together instead of against each other is a world where we can make great progress.

A Woman's Confidence Is True Beauty by blogger Karly Sacco

       It all comes down to jealously. When women let other women tear them down based on looks, achievements, or anything in between, it will always come back to how they wish they could be more like someone else. Well, no one ever said that you have to dress, act, or be a certain way in order to gain success. The only way to truly to be happy and have control of your life is to be yourself. 

          

      Do not compare yourself to anyone else because there’s only one you. In today’s society there is so much pressure to be something that we are not, especially for us young women. The ads shown in magazines and all over the media have unrealistic models (most likely Photo Shopped) to sell their brands. These images are ones that women aspire to be, but the reality of it is, no one looks like that, not even the models in the pictures. These images that are fed to us just adds to insecurities that women already have every day. Even going to work can become a best-dressed competition.

      I feel that the best way to push all of the confidence issues aside is to become more positive when it comes to other women. Do not let the little things get to you. Instead of letting the negative thoughts bottle up in your mind about how you wish you could fit into that dress, or how you wish you could be more personable, speak up in a positive way. Next time you see a woman in a nice outfit, compliment her sincerely on it to show her your confident. You will feel good about yourself and you can feel good about others that may have made you upset if you let them get to you. A woman's most beautiful attribute is her confident. Without having a sense of self worth and independence, you will become weak and that is when others can get you when you're down.

      Be proud of who you are and where you came from. We all have our own story, and chances are you have worked really hard to make it to where you are now. So why waste your time letting others get you down? Women have already come so far within the work place, and we should be proud of each other, not jealous. We need to continue to send a positive message to the youth, and motivate them to continue the path of gender equality. Whenever you feel yourself start to stray, remember to not compare yourself to others, and be comfortable in your own skin.

Broken trusts and broken hearts -by blogger Snehal

While flipping through the pages of a  book my eyes glued to one statement  that read , "I dont hate you. I'm just disappointed you turned into everything you said you would never be". This line might seem an ordinary one but when you excavate deep into the meanings you realize it portrays the pain, betrayal, bleeds and despair of a broken heart. Trust takes years to build, seconds to break and forever to repair. In cases of Acquaintance rape and Date rape the trust factor loses its value forever.

In both the cases the perpetrator is not a complete stranger to the survivor and this is the probable reason why most of the rape survivors find it extremely difficult to even identify the horrific experience that they had to go through. The proximity of the relationship also plays a key role as closer the relationship with the perpetrator the greater is the survivor's shock. Self- blame is yet another recurring response from the survivors leading into non-disclosure of the incident. If this is struggle is not enough, the survivors have to deal with physical, emotional and psycological burdens of betrayal and fear of the encountering their perpetrator in future.Most of the victims find this betrayal of trust hard to believe and end up mistrusting others in life.

 No one deserves to be raped. If a guy is spending on a gift or an expensive dinner for a woman, it does not mean she is under an implied obligation to payback to him by having sex. A woman's dress is not her consent to have sex. Likewise it is difficult to understand who the rapists are. Rapists do not come with a chit (bearing their intention to rape) on their respective foreheads. The responsibility of both the men and the women is Prevention. Stigmatizing the victims is the readily available defence for the rapists. Detecting a person who will rape is difficult. A few charactersticscs can be a sign of trouble. Emotional intimidation through belittling comments, sulking, projecting coercive tendencies, inability to handle sexual and emotional frustration, physical intimidation by blocking doorway or physical startling, extreme drinking can serve as a warning. Awareness is the key and can accelerate quick decision making during problematic situations.

I shall conclude my article with a beautiful quote by George Macdonald that states "To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved". This is universally applicable to both men and women.

Update on No Grey Area by blogger Joyce

Not too long ago, I wrote about my disgust with the release of Fifty Shades of Grey in theaters. In the original blog post, I wrote:



Who knows? This may contribute to more rape and sexual assaults all across the board.

This public broadcasting may also encourage people to not listen to “NO” and to think that the

other person secretly wants rough and forced sex.



Tonight, I found out on the news that a 19-year old student raped another student at the University of Illinois at Chicago. He bondaged her and raped her despite her yelling no. After he was arrested, he told police that he was acting out scenes from the movie. I have so many questions. Did the movie truly influence him to do this terrible act, or did he use it as his scapegoat? Where was the RA (resident advisor)? WGN News said that at one point of the rape, the roommate tried to come into the room, but wasn’t let in. Didn’t people hear her screams? I don’t know what the protocol is at the UIC campus, but usually there is at least one RA “on call” who is physically present at the dormitory occasionally walking the halls to look for any suspicious behavior. The students’ residents association needs to investigate this incident and possibly improve their vigilance practices.

Comunicación Buena No Tiene Nada Que Ver Con La Distancia por el blogger Emily

Estoy en una relación de larga distancia. Mi novio es miembro de la infantería de marina y se movió el Octubre pasado. Obviamente, esta situación no es ideal. Le echo de menos muchísimo. A causa de la naturaleza de su trabajo, él puede estar sin habilidad de comunicarse para cuatro días o más. Vivo en la costa oeste, y él vive en la costa este y a veces el cambio de tiempo de tres horas siente como una diferencia de años. La distancia y el cambio de tiempo a veces amplifican cualquiera frustración que sienta con él o con la relación. Y a veces me dejo de comunicar.




Hay diferencia entre llamando y enviando mensajes todo el día y comunicando. Descubierto que no quiero hablar de sujetos negativos porque solo tengo una oportunidad pequeña en que puedo hablar con mi novio. Por eso, a veces cuando le estoy hablando por teléfono, no le estoy comunicando con él.




Nunca hemos tenido dificultad comunicando cuando vivíamos juntos, pero la relación de larga distancia significa que tuvimos cambiar nuestras maneras de comunicación. Y se han mejorado.




Al principio, se me di cuenta de que tenía más frustraciones con la situación en vez de con mi novio. Le extrañaba, pero al mismo tiempo, no quería que él sintiera culpable para su trabajo y decisiones. Tenía tanto orgullo y sentía egoísta por mis lágrimas y la cantidad de helado que había comido. Me guardaba todos mis sentimientos en mi corazón durante la primera mes. Pero, este significa que pude explotar en segundos.




Exploté. Le llameé y lloré, lloré y lloré. Entonces, él me dijo algo muy importante que cambió nuestra comunicación. Me dijo que sobre todo, quería saber mis sentimientos y esperaba que quisiera saber sus sentimientos también.




Obvio, ¿verdad? Pero, lo tuve que oír.




Tengo interés en el grano en su cara porque tengo interés en él. A mi me importa que él comió para su cena porque a mi me importa que él este contento.




Si una relación falte este nivel de cariño, los dos tienen que reevaluar sus motivos para quedarse en la relación.




Es natural que novios tienen problemas de comunicarse, pero cuando este ocurre, es necesario que novios se den cuenta de estas problemas para arreglarlas inmediatamente.




La comunicación buena no tiene nada que ver con la distancia. Tiene que ver con el esfuerzo y cariño que cada lado de la relación tiene.

No Grey Area in Consent: by blogger Joyce

Lately we are seeing more commercials for the premiere of the movie of Fifty Shades of Grey. I have never read the book, nor have the desire to read it or watch it on the big screen. Although I know the adage “don’t judge a book by its cover”, from what I’ve heard and read about the book, I do not understand how consensual abuse is sexy. The previews show the female putting her wrists together so that the male lover can put her under bondage. I’ve seen so many reviews that the book is sensual, erotic, and exhilarating, but how is being spanked something to be envied and coveted? I just cannot wrap my head around this one.



It is one thing for there to be adult trash novels and pornography; it is another thing when the X-rated or R-rated movie versions show their previews on public access channels that our kids can see. They will become curious and learn that it is mainstream and totally acceptable behavior. Who knows? This may contribute to more rape and sexual assaults all across the board. This public broadcasting may also encourage people to not listen to “NO” and to think that the other person secretly wants rough and forced sex.



I am generally appalled by any scary, sexually-charged or violent previews or commercials on TV…which leads me wondering why every TV program must show its rating, but commercials are excused from this requirement. Damage can be done in thirty seconds, or even less.

Good Communication Knows No Bounds by blogger Emily

I’m in a long distance relationship. My boyfriend is a Marine and he moved away this past October. To state the obvious: this sucks. I miss him. Due to the nature of his work, he may be gone for four consecutive days incommunicado. I live on the west coast, he lives on the east coast, and sometimes the three-hour time difference feels like years. The distance and the time change often exacerbate any frustration I have with him or with our relationship. When this happens, I stop communicating.




There is a difference between texting and calling someone constantly and communicating. I’ve found that I’m leery of tainting the precious time when we can talk by venting my frustrations to him. So even if I am on the phone with him, I’m often not communicating with him.




We never had trouble communicating when we lived together, but the long distance relationship meant that we had to adjust our methods of communication. Through time, I’ve become better and he has too.




Initially, I found that I was more frustrated with the situation than with him. I missed his presence, but at the same time, I didn’t want to make him feel bad or guilty for having to move away. I was proud of what he was doing and felt selfish for crying at night and sometimes eating ice cream straight out of the container while nestled up on my couch. I internalized all of my feelings for the first month of our long distance stint. This made matters worse. I was like a ticking emotional time bomb capable of combusting at a moment’s notice.




I combusted. I called my boyfriend late at night and sobbed. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. Then he said something to me that revolutionized our communication. He told me that above all, he wanted to know how I was feeling and he hoped that I wanted to know the same about him.




This seems obvious, but I needed to hear it.




I care about the zit on his face that’s bothering him because I care about him. I care about how his dinner tasted because I care about him.




If this level of care is lacking in the relationship, both parties need to reassess their motives for staying in the relationship.



It’s natural for communication to not always be flawless, but when this happens, it is necessary for couples to acknowledge this and fix it, so it doesn’t smolder and eventually hurt somebody.




Good communication doesn’t depend on distance; it depends on the levels of effort and care that each member of a relationship exerts.

The Prevalence of Sexual Assault in the Developing World by blogger Ryan Flynn

47% of Peruvian women have been victims of attempted or completed sexual assault according to Gary Haugen, founder of International Justice Mission. According to the CDC, in the United States, 18.3% of women have been victims of attempted or completed sexual assault. While neither number is good at all, why is Peru's percentage two and a half times as high as the U.S.'s?

The difference comes down to two major things: differences in GDP per capita and the prevalence of violence in developing countries like Peru. The GDP per capita in Peru was $6,659.81 USD in 2013, whereas the U.S.'s GDP per capita in 2013 was $53,142.89. Now this may not seem like a big deal; I mean it's only money, right? 

The problem here is that in many developing countries, Peru one of them, services such as lawyers and justice systems can only be utilized if you can pay for them. At $6,659.81 per year, the ability to acquire those services to attain justice for a sexual assault is drastically lessened assaulted many sexual assault victims just have to endure and go on with their lives. 

The other major problem facing the developing world when it comes to decreasing sexual assaults is the prevalence of violence in society. This goes hand-in-hand with the problem of income. In many developing countries, the justice system and police force work for the highest bidder, and many times do not even look into reports from low-income communities.

For example, in a recent case conducted by International Justice Mission in Bangalore, India, the accused was a brick factory owner who kidnapped more than a dozen women and children to work in his factory. To keep order he would systematically rape them and beat them. IJM found this out and visited the factory with a district magistrate, who witnessed first-hand the situation. The case took six and a half years to bring to a full trial, and the judge over the case in the end decided to reassign the case to another judge, who without viewing any evidence, acquitted the accused of any wrongdoing. In almost seven years of working on the case, IJM staff met with the police 26 times, made 53 visits to other relevant government officials, made 73 trips to the courthouse, and met with 10 different prosecutors. And yet, the accused still were not found guilty.

The only way to reduce the prevalence of sexual assault in the developing world is to reduce the levels of violence in low-income communities, improve justice systems, and improve GDP per capita to eliminate for-profit law enforcement. This is a daunting task, but with non-profits working around the clock on other issues, we are bound to one day improve on these conditions as well.

Communication Is Key by Benedictine University blogger Karly Sacco

Coming from someone that is in a committed relationship, I understand and relate completely with the fact that communication is essential. We as human beings need to communicate with our partners in order to maintain a long-lasting, healthy connection. 

The list is endless as to why communication is key when it comes to loving your significant other, but let’s just name a few of the really important reasons.

-Respect-

I know you’re thinking it, Aretha Franklin was right when she sang about it. Respect is the number one element within a relationship. I am not just talking about respecting your partner, but most importantly I am referring to self-respect. There is no way you can respect other people if you cannot truly believe in yourself and know your limits. When you and your partner are being sexual, make sure that you remember to respect yourself before you do something you don’t want to do. If you show your partner that you care about your body and you respect yourself to a certain extent then the respect will become mutual and you will define a certain level of understating each other’s needs and desires. Communication doesn’t always have to be spoken; you can show your partner ways to respect you through your actions and emotions.

-No More Misunderstandings-

How many times have you gotten into an argument with someone because they thought you meant something completely different than what you would trying to communicate to them? If you and your partner have a clear understanding and are open with one another about everything in your lives, than there will be no more misunderstandings.Truly let them know how you are feeling, and the odds are there won’t be a misunderstanding and the problem can be resolved rationally.

-Fighting Is Kept to a Minimum- 

The last but most defiantly not the least important point I am going to touch on is that communication between couples can keep their fighting to a minimal. Obviously every couple fights because of their own personal reasons that make each other mad, but communicating can help reduce the amount of fighting that happens on a daily basis. Tension builds in a household when a couple are mad at each other, but they don’t talk about it. They just let the issue linger on until they both can’t hold it in anymore and blow up over something so stupid that could have been fixed a week ago with a little bit of communication.

Ta Ta for now by blogger Jade

Due to my acceptance to the Women’s Health Doctor of Practitioner Program at the University of Minnesota, I have decided to step aside as blogger for the Leila Grace Foundation.  I thoroughly enjoyed my time blogging for this foundation, they do great work!  A year ago when I began blogging, I had no idea what was in store for me.   The knowledge I have gained through the foundation, and fellow bloggers is invaluable. 

I am sad to say goodbye, but am thankful for the experience.  Know that by reading the blogs from the foundation you are gaining knowledge and an awareness for rape culture on campus and worldwide.  Someone once told me “the more you know, the more you know,” a valid statement.  You are making a difference.

HOW CAN CURRENT PREVENTION PROGRAMS IMPROVE THEIR CONTENT BY OFFERING IT THROUGH A DIGITAL PLATFORM AND INCORPORATING SOCIAL MEDIA? by Blogger Robert

In the age of the internet education is shifting towards a new platform. A platform that works with the interests of a new generation of students. More and more lessons and learning activities have become computer interactive procedures. All in the name of progress.



Aside from the new futuristic world around us there are still age old conundrums that still require answers. How do we prevent bullying in the school system? How do we prevent children from being ridiculed for expressing who they are? But most importantly how do we maintain the realm of public education d s safe and secure place.



The answer is not by any means a simple one but once again the 21st century has opened up new doors and possibilities that are yet to be explored. In this new golden era its time to turn classroom learning into a video game. Lets take bully prevention as our prime target for the moment. If there were classes dedicated to computer gaming activities in which the students were made to use teamwork as a method of achieving success in the game it would be a lesson that would stick with the children even after they'd gone home.



Part of the storyline of the game would be that your helping kids your age who are in some sort of trouble or danger. This sets a precedent that if someone needs help then its your job to provide it to them.



Often times seminars and assemblies do not work. Its too IN YOUR FACE! The message has to be instilled into every student naturally. Its not something that can be crammed down their throats. If its executed that way the children see it as any other forbidden fruit placed in front of them. Don't smoke. Don't drink. Don't do drugs. Don't say anything to anybody that the administration would not approve of.



That's why students usually choose the peers that appear more timid to exert their frustrations onto. They know those students aren't going to report them. They know this kid isn't going to get them into trouble. And they know this student wasn't going to fight back. So by collecting all of them into a giant auditorium or getting some authoritarian police officer-like figure to talk to them about being respectful to their fellow students, your only putting a more tantalizing piece of fruit in front of them.



There are some students who feel the need to express their own depression or anger by targeting students who show apparent signs of insecurities and anxieties. But if at an early age they learned that working alongside those same students is fun and rewarding you may end up with a very different positive outcome.



You may be skeptical as too whether these digital based lessons may work but the proof is in the pudding. Its been statistically proven that children s well as adults learn at a more rapid rate with digital stimulation. To use a study in year 2000 stating that the company United Airlines reduced its employee training time from 40 hours to 18 hours after converting to a digital learning format. Looking for something even more recent? In 2012 the Center for Learning and Performance Technologies released the following Top 100 tools for learning. The top 10 were all media based platforms. Among them being Wikipedia, PowerPoint and WordPress.



Technology can revolutionize education. Because the internet is more then just a platform in which to pirate your music. And technology is a far greater tool then we give it credit for. Yes, yes. I know we have cell


phones and laptops and a million little gadgets on our utility belt but there are institutional foundations that sill haven't utilized technology for all its potential. Why not utilize technology to save trees instead of printing more literary text books? The same can be said about the wasteful tax payer spending used to purchase erasers, pencils, paper and binders. If everything was done over a digital platform it would all become obsolete. And if all students were presented with the same computers, same desks and all the same utilities this too would prevent students from finding ways to take superiority over one another.



Digital platforms can change the education system in so many impactful ways but we just haven't discovered all the ways in which we can use this new found power. But as educational gaming apps like Lumosity and Elevate start to become more popular amongst teachers, the implementation of these new found methods in the classroom will change public education forever.

Increasing Participation in Sexual Assault Prevention Programs by Blogger Abigail

I am lucky to attend a University that has a program in place called GreenDot, which trains individuals on a voluntary basis to become what they call “active bystanders”. An active bystander is a person sees a bad situation from happening, and does whatever they can to make sure the situation is avoided. Some techniques include confronting the situation or creating a distraction. In the cases of sexual assault, an active bystander can play an important third party role to help the victim get out of the situation. The catchphrase for GreenDot is “Billikens Look Out For Each Other”. While the university has struggled to require students to complete the day-long training, incentives through student organizations have encouraged many to go. Generally, the biggest problem the program seems to face is that students generally don’t want to spend an entire day engaged in the training. If educational videos were available to students online, perhaps still with an incentive from an outside club or class, students could complete the GreenDot training on their own time. By giving the freedom to stop and go as you choose, perhaps with answering questions along the way, students will be more likely to make time to complete the program.